Let he who is without sin kick the first ass!
Last night - as a mid-stress season break - me and a few of my mates went on the lash to the Raz. The Raz - the dirtiest, dingiest pub/nightclub in Liverpool, which makes it student heaven - is very wierd, as sometimes I have great nights, other times I hate it. Last night, I wasn't so sure. I seemed to be a bit in the upper middling area. Did win a bit of cash on the fruities, so the night had a nice tinge to it (not telling you how much, but it went quite a bit of a way to getting a second hand mobile phone). Nevertheless, I got very drunk (more on that later), but a few observations of the night.
- At one of my trips to the gamblers, I got speaking to two people who were 'Raz virgins'. We were cordial, and chatting for a good ten minutes. They're names? Barry and Scott. Yes. I was thinking asking them if they had problems with Limescale, Rust and/or Ground in Dirt.
- I dunno whether it's a subconcious thing, but ever since I've started going out with S, I've found myself to be more chatty with members of the opposite sex. Last night I had three girls just randomly started chatting to me during the night. I think it was actually quite blokey conversation, instead of 'trying to impress so they may give me a snog' conversation. I distinctly remember talking about the Raz toilets (which are disgusting). Such an ice breaker me. It did work, as one of them used me as a temporary boyfriend - to try and get rid of this bloke - and I got a hug and a kiss on the cheek out of it. Result!
- I don't remeber actually being to badly wasted. I think I was relatively sober. Nevertheless, I woke up with a massive hangover, wearing last nights clothes, and - quite disturbingly - upside down. My feet were by my headboard, and vice versa. How the jeebus I managed that I have no idea.
As mentioned, I bought a new phone today. It is the Sony Ericsson T610. Quite old, but it's got a camera and bluetooth, so I'm happy. Been playing around with it all day. Anyway, one of the coolest things on this phone is "themes", which present your phone in a cool way. Long story short, I've got a super mario world background and screensaver, but changed the ringtone to my personal ringtone of choice - Ken's Street Fighter 2 theme.
Finally, in this bitty post, the Family Guy Season 4 Premiere has been leaked, and I managed to see it. All I can say is that it is really, really, really funny. It's classic Family Guy stuff, with obscure references, very wrong scenes (the Pinnochio scene: if you laugh, you will go to hell. I'll see you there), and some of the bit players have come back in bigger roles (such as Ollie Williams The Black Weatherman - Clip 2 on this site). I'm not going to say "download it", as I'll get into trouble, but if you can get somebody else to find it, download it, and let you watch it, that's fair game in my book.
Done and Dusted
Today is a happy, happy day.
See that there? That is my thesis. Every one of those squares is a side of A4 paper. It is the result of 3 years hard slogging, £20,000 worth of investment, blood, sweat, tears and god knows what else. It is the pinnacle of my education, a crescendo before I head out into the real world.
You know what though? I'm proud. I have a tendancy that my writing style is childish, and everything is spelt out in minute detail (though I have been complemented on a number of reports). Okay, it isn't the most techincal project ever (it's a project that is based on producing a Interactive DVD Prospectus for a High School), but it has real use. I'm not one to talk in too much detail, but there are projects in the university that are complete bollocks. The 'still no cure for cancer' quote, frequented on Fark, holds true. To be fair, we paid the university to do the project, not vice versa. So we do get a say in what we want to do.
8,500 words. 48 pages. It may not sound much, but it's a huge weight off my back.
Now got one more assignment, the group evaluation, and two exams. Then I'm done with university. Into the real world.
On a related note: why is it that around this time every year everybody feels the need to inform the world how many words they've written for various pieces of coursework? I'm being hypocritical here, as I have been guilty of this. Nevertheless, it's not like we care, is it?
We are the Champions
Bugger me that was fast.
Either they read this website, or our angry phone call was well recieved, but the LiveBox came quicker than a 15 year old watching Eurotrash.
Ahem. Where was I?
Oh yes. If you read other blogs, you will know that last weekend was the Liverpool Trios tournament. After two years of being in the bowling team, this was my last chance do get a trophy. My team to hopefully accomplish this feat? Myself, S and Jen. Collectively known as Liverpool 3.
Things didn't start too well, as it was Sunday morning. Our game against the blinds (blind bowling guarentees you points, you just need to bowl as much as possible) was average. Nevertheless, we picked up, winning the next few games. One of these games I scored a 178, my personal best. We must be a dead cert for the next round, right?
Errr....no.
I buckled big time in the last game against Manchester, causing our team to finish second in the league. Luckily, due to our previous form, we scraped through to the second round as 8th seed. Meaning that in order to qualify we had to beat all of our 2nd round opponents.
Teeside was relatively straightforward, I put in another high score of 177 (I missed the pins on the last frame, so it should of been higher). Then a game against the Manchester team we faced in the first round. We beat them. Finally Sheffield, who stood between us and a guarenteed trophy.
I think I should mention just how important this was to me. At bowling, I have never been considered to be any good. In fact, I've been proping up the league all of last year. I have also never missed a bowling wednesday (discounting the wednesday just gone), and would of loved a trophy.
Despite my buckling, the team all picked up, and we beat Sheffield on the last ball.
Due to our win, we were seeded first for the tournament, which meant we could finish no lower than second. Could there be a fairytale ending, the relatively shit kid from Colwyn Bay picking up the big one, and winning the whole damn thing?
Alas no. One of the opposition put in a scary 295 handicapped score.
But you try and wipe the smile from my face.
Okay, it may be made of plastic, and hollowed out to buggery, but it's the first trophy I've won for sporting endeavour since I picked up the Cub Scout Football Challenge: 1st Place in 1993. 1993! George Bush Snr. was President, Britpop hadn't even started, and the Internet was restricted to a few universities.
I'm not being arrogent, but I think I've waited long enough....
Waiting For Changes
Okay, here's the official situation on the state of the internet at Wynne's residence at the moment.
The CD which would supposedly cause the Livebox to fix itself came yesterday. Instead of being a smooth, sleek, presentation which guides you, step by step throughout the process, as you'd expect from a multi-million pound company, you get a generic freeware program designed to recover the equipment, and a large PDF file explaining what to do.
Unfortunately, the PDF was written so that it didn't apply to the CD in question, and as such is very ambiguous. It does help you, but only so far.
Anyway, by shooting in the dark for about an hour, I realised that the directory referenced by the freeware program, which contained the firmware, doesn't actually exist. As a quick copy over to the hard drive, and changing the programs settings (which was done in a .ini file, no options on this program). And we would be in business.
Except the box is fucked.
Which we've known since day 1.
One very angry phone call later, and Wanadoo have promised a new livebox, which will arrive in "3-5 working days".
Hands up if you think the box will be here for Christmas?
Luckily, the libraries in university have been open 24 hours a day, and as such my course has not really taken too much of a pounding. Except for the fact that you can't take beer into the library, or sit there in your boxers. Two pre-requisites for me to be at my most efficient.
As such, this blog has taken a bit of a backseat for the time being. Not to worry, as once the livebox is back, and we finally get it up and running, then there will be updates. Most specifically from the Liverpool Trios bowling tournament, which turned out to be quite a fairytale story.....
Wana-Poo Broadband
Monday and Tuesday night - I have been convinced - to go to the pub, then club, then casino. Okay, my student loan kicked in, and I never actually spent that much in those nights anyway. In any rate, last night I flat out decided not to drink, and go out past 11 o'clock. At which point I thought "bit of light internet surfing, before an early night.".
Which, for those of you who have deduced that the fact that I'm telling you this ensures nothing went smoothly, you'll know this isn't the case.
At around 11pm last night, we tripped our fuse box out. It's a fairly common occurance in our house, with a house with the most electric devices seen since The Lawnmower man. It's an easy fix, but our Wanadoo hub didn't restart.
Now, before I launch into the tirade against Wanadoo, I've been with them for a huge amount of time, and had no real problems with them.
Here goes....
Un-fucking-fortunately, Wanadoo had - for whatever reason - neglected to mention that, at regular times, they update the firmware on our hub (which also has this rhytmic, pulsating light on the front which drives the hell out of me, and you can't switch off). It was during one of these updates that the power went off, forcing the house into darkness.
Also, Wanadoo do not tell you that should the "Livebox" (the name for the hub) switch off during an update, then it will no longer work.
After ringing the 24 helpline last night, we found out it was not 24 hours, as instead between 5pm and 9am, they have a recorded message informing you of this. Of course, charging you 50p a minute for the priveledge.
The next morning, we ring the now-available 24 hour helpline. We found out that due to what I've already mentioned about the software update, the system is royally fucked, and we need to do a software reset on it.
Where do you get the software? Simple, Wanadoo send it, in 3-4 days.
As such, I am now without internet, and it's driving me nuts. Should a member of Wanadoo technical support be watching this, may I reccommend the following steps, so this person can will not call them arses.
- Let everybody know when you are updating your software. Okay, we couldn't be helped, but some people perform hard resets of their entire system often. Would be nice if their system didn't go down, wouldn't it?
- Admit if you don't have a 24 hour support line. That's like saying a 24 hour Tesco closes at 2 in the morning. When I'm coming home pissed from a pub, and want some Ben & Jerrys, and the 24 hour Tesco's wasn't open, I'd be angry. Just as I was last night.
- Wouldn't it be sensible to include the driver fixing software somewhere else? Most of us have net access in more than one place, plus if not we could use a friends. Couldn't you put it online, and let us download it? Surely that will save money in cd burning and postage fees, wouldn't it?
- And why does it take 3-4 days for the CD to deliver? A stamp costs 40p. It almost guarentees next day delivery. Are you really so obsessed with profit margins that you are too pikey to buy one?
Be sure this isn't hot air, as I have emailled Wanadoo support with this post (with the removal of all the bad words, and these last few paragraphs). Hopefully, somebody with half a brain cell can sort it out.
Anyway, after that rant, I guess I can say that I won't be around posting until sometime next week. I will be back with a blinder, as it's nearly the Liverpool bowling tournament, and we've got a few teams in it. See you soon!
EDIT: Due to the large amount of mail I recieve based on this post. I've created a reply, here
Good As New, Good As New, G.G.G.G.Good As New!
Heya everybody. Due to the fact that my thesis is due (incidentally, it's nearly finished, and will not be hitting the 10,000 word barrier. Result!) in in a few short days means that this post is bitty. It's not going to be good, just some random observations.
Firstly, I went down to town on Sunday, largely due to a quite disturbing Subway craving. After finishing off my steak and cheese melt (and getting the eye from one of the clerks, because I could pronounce chipotle sauce correctly - she said "Half the unlearned swines who come in here don't know a sauce passed ketchup"), I headed into one of two centres, where a voice boomed over the PA system:-
"Should you require wheelchair assistance, please make your way to the disabled information booth, located on the top floor of this building...."
Anybody else see quite a fundamental flaw in this? I'm sorry, but it just seems a bit strange. Surely you could put like...I don't know....the Body Shop (no sick pun intended by the way, just to clear it up) on the top floor, whilst putting the information booth on the bottom. I'm sure that if people wanted their scented soaps, and pumpkin seeds, I'm sure they can navigate an escalator, rather than having a granny in a wheelchair doing a version of the wheelchair based Krypton Factor assault course. I dunno, maybe there is a point, and I'm missing it like Linus misses his blanket. This usually is the case, and some smart alec who's never seen this site disproves me in the comments. So comment away bitches!
An advert doing the rounds on student (i.e. daytime) television is the one for Cillit Bang. The advert is a work of genius, with the irrepressible Barry Scott asking you if you have problems with limescale, rust, and ground in dirt, before shilling his product. It's a great introduction to a great advert, so much so that everybody should have a similar introduction on TV ("Hi, Jerry Springer here asking you if you have problems with marriage, sex, lesbian kittens...."). Anyway, the advert has got a bit of a cult following, including a very, very funny dance remix, which has to be seen to be believed.
Right, that's me done for now, best be getting into university. But, as a special treat, here's Avril in a bikini.
Oh you would. Daily, nightly, and ever so rightly.....
Silly Bugger Saturday
April 9th, 2005 will forever be known as "Silly Bugger Saturday" the day in which three housemates, with little much else to do, throw logic completely out of the window.
You see, I started out with a plan to end all plans. Thanks to the lovely people at Nuts (one of the reason Nuts are lovely is just to the right of this article) and the fact that I had some dormant money on some online bookmakers, I had a few quid (think total of £9) to spend on the Grand National. Gratis.
Well, that was the plan.
You see, with me watching the BBC's coverage of the big race, although fantastic, but is a bitch as it starts putting doubts in my head. The fact that most, if not all of my horses had a poor chance of winning. I thought, "Fuck it! I'm not sitting for 15 minutes watching a bunch of horses going around without giving myself a sporting chance, lets see who Barker, Balding, Piggott and (for some reason) Parrott are nodding towards.".
Firstly was some horse called Forrest Gunner. It was a big thing that the jockey could be the first female winner of the Grand National, so - like half of the country - I put some money on it. It came a good, but not good enough 5th.
Secondly was this horse called Clan Royal. If you are unaware, there was a Royal wedding yesterday (which I missed, because there was some paint drying on some other channel). Normally, I would bat this off to just a bit of similarity, but not this year.
"It's a sign! It's an omen!" I was shouting.
"It's a coincidence....." Was heard when the horse pulled up.
So, all in all, a pretty shitty day. Did a lot on my thesis though, the only problem being now is that the 10,000 word upper limit could be hit very, very, soon.
Oh, and the answer to the last post was actually "One hand on the job.". Nice to see nobody was as perverted as I was (yes, even S wasn't. She pulls suprises on me sometimes!).
Say What You See....
One of the joys of the recently accquired sky is the amount of channels you get. Okay, after midnight they either become poker tournaments (good) or boring telephone 'hot' lines (not so good), but for a good proportion of the day they are filled with all sorts of hidden gems.
The best channel I've found is Challenge, a channel that holds all sorts of gameshows from recent to distant past. Pretty much all the gameshows mentioned on this post are on it. Including a game called Catchphrase. In it people have to guess what the famous phrase is using the picture clue (say, for example, the picture is the word 'time' written inside the word 'just', the phrase would be 'just in time'. Dygeddit?).
Now you know how to play this, just imagine what was going through my sick perverted little mind when this came up early last week.....
Answers on a postcard (or the comment box). I'll post the answer soon.....
Passing The Buck
I've been struggling with blogging the past few days, kind of like how a three year old struggles with a knife and fork, or your average chav struggles with basic maths and diction. Lucky for me then that
Ally threw
a question in my general direction. I've decided to take time out of packing for my impending return to answer this as best as possible.
Yes, best as possible. It may come as a suprise to a few of you that I generally don't read much (S can attest to that). As such, the answers will be shorter than most, and I won't reference books - if I can help it. And help it I can.
Have You Ever Had A Crush On A Fictional Character?
Here's where I can help it. I'm not going for a book fictional character, as I don't read many books, and most the books I've read are autobiographies, and not many females are in them generally anyway. As such, here is my all time favourite in terms of attractiveness fictional character.
Futurama's Leela. How can you not find her hot? The world's most perfect mutated, kick ass, nicely racked female from the 4th Millenia is my fictional crush because in Futurama she seems not a girly girl, so I don't have to buy her chocolates and flowers. Plus, should she accidentally swallow some viagra, I get to crack "stiff one-eye" jokes, result!
The last book you bought is:
Fuck knows. Seriously. I have no idea when the last book bought was. I'd probably say it was a book on
Flash to use in my
job last year. Either that or the
Wrestlecrap book. Almost bought
The Da Vinci Code in a shameful bandwagon jumping move.
Ooooh. Just remembered. Bought Minipops for my brother for Christmas. Does that count?
The last book you read:
Again, probably that Wrestlecrap book. Managed to read it in around 3 hours as well. Couldn't put it down to be fair.
Five Three books you would take to a deserted island:
I'd also include some boat building and naval seafaring book, to get off the bastard island.
There you have it. I nominate all of the Liverpool bloggers to do this next. They seem to be struggling with content.
Whether they can be arsed is a different matter.
Prim and Proper
Today, in sheer coincidence, myself,
Ian and
S recieved our bumpf from
Liverpool University (if any other Liverpool students recieved their gear today (2nd April), please let me know) regarding our graduation. Once I sorted the stuff that was useful from stuff that was just the University trying to bleed us dry one last time, I realised two things.
Firstly, the University is very pompus, redbrick, and believes in grandure. We have to import our gown and mortarboard from some place in Cambridge, appointed by HRH as the official gown hire place....thingy. Anyway, we have to order it from this place, and should we want a DVD, order it from that place, and have the official graduate meal here, and so on. My thesis is on a project we did creating a DVD, and the thought of undercutting the company did cross my mine. As for the meal? Well, we're going to the Liver Bar with our parents and eating pizza and drinking £1.20 beer, whilst we still can on a warm Tuesday afternoon. Sorry, but I don't do stuck up, so I'm avoiding as much pomp as possible, as if it was some sort of pompus plague.
The second thing is the exact opposite. A fair amount of my course are salt of the earth scouse types. They dress like chavs, but are not. They're intelligent, hard working and not utter gits. However, they do look like them with tracksuits on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.
Which is what I've come to associate them in.
So, come July 5th, I will see them in non standard tracksuits. It will look wierd, like when you first saw Kurt Angle without hair.
Sorry for the wek entry, i'm pissed, tired, and want to finish this before bed. That make me a drunken lethargic workaholic? Well, I suppose it does.
Oh how we laughed.....
My ego (I don't want no English flags on my blog) and the fact that I am suspicious means that I've taken the April Fool's joke down. You can now see it
here to what graced the blog this morning.
To be fair, I didn't think it was up to previous* years efforts, but that's because I forgot the day. It was only when my mum came in with a bowl of frosties with a fork in it, that I realised that something was afoot.
Incidentally, she did the same trick with my brother, and he used the fork to eat his breakfast. The stubborn bastard.
Again, life is pretty boring for me at the moment. Currently about a third of the way through my thesis (though that has hit a grinding halt, due to Sky TV and also Pro Evolution Soccer 4), and I spent the day in Chester as I met S there for lunch, ales, and a rather disturbing (for me) look around Ann Summers.
* That had a couple of pictures there, which i've lost, so it's not as funny now, but the basic jist of it was that I saw the face of Jesus Christ in a game of Minesweeper.
