That's one....that's two....
Hello everybody. Been ridiculously busy the past few days with work for once. No, not hungover: aint drunk nothing since last Saturday (scary). Here's a couple of thoughts that I've experienced over the past few days: -
We've got San Andreas in the house! Aint touched it yet, and to be fair, it really doesn't appear to be that much better than Vice City. Sure, the way you build up your characters is pretty cool, but....meh.
I'm sure I'll have a longer go on it soon, and I'll let you know what I think.
The new tango advert is brilliant, just for the line "That's one, that's two, that's the hit of the whole fruit right there!". I'm bowling BUSA at the weekend (more on that later), and I'm planning to use that line immensely. Mainly when - on the rare occassion, when the moon is aligned with the north star and the wind howls a haunting tone - I get a strike.
Yanks? Have no idea what I'm talking about? Cliques ici, s'il vous plait.
If you're anything like me, you have been voting in earnest on the FHM.com's Championship of Women. Sure, it's politically incorrect, but I don't care. I'm sure you all have your own personal favourites. Mine? Sophie Howard who represents the better half of Merseyside (Max, look at the table), Everton: -
As Peter Kay once said - "Bitta blue for t'dads!"
As mentioned above, I will be representing Liverpool University in the BUSA (British University Sports Association) Ten Pin Bowling Championships. My pick - to be honest - was controversial (about 2 weeks ago, so was quite late. Plus I am shite). As one of my mates said, "I must of presented my arse to the captain.". Still, it should be fun. We're taking a few of the freshers down as well, so I'll let you all know how I got on Monday.
Right, that's your lot. Bugger off.
Doo Doo Doo...c'mon lets do the Konga
Went to Chester yesterday (yes,
that place I ended up when I was drunk) to meet the most important woman in my life at the moment, my mum.
Anyway, whilst she was there to feed me in Yates's (I know Potter's gonna have something to say about that punctuation), I had a fair amount of time looking around just browsing the shops. And then I saw a Gamecube with this on it:-
Donkey Konga
To be honest, I had yet to be sold on the game, a few people were raving about it on Blitzcoder, but I couldn't see what the fuss was about.
Until I played it.
Man.....is it so much fun!
For the unitiated, Donkey Konga involves you playing some bongos to a song, like Dance Dance Revolution, and all the other dancing games out at the moment. However, it's so much fun! The fact I was dancing, and clapping in the middle of Gamestation testifies this, and the fact that nobody cared. Hell, I'm used to making an arsehole out of myself - and I felt I wasn't exactly Justin Timberlake as I bongoed my way through Blink 182's - "All The Small Things" (trust me, if it wasn't such a public place - I would of done "99 Red Balloons"). Anyway, to finish off - it's a bloody fun game, and though I don't own a Gamecube, I've been nagging at my housemate - who does - to buy it.
He tells me to shut up though. Ah well.
In other news: Anybody notice some of the public clocks in the UK at the moment? I'm sure they've screwed up the hour change or summit. Most of them are an hour behind than my watch and computer clock. Somebody's screwed up!
IRON101 - Introduction To Irony
Couple of cracks that have appeared in my university life, mainly from the lecturers: -
Why is our European Studies lecturer American?
Why does our Interface Design lecturer (a module where you learn how to design easy to use, easy to read interfaces) notes come on slides which are black on navy blue?
Why do half our Computer Science lecturers have no grasp of any sort of Computer knowledge (I'm talking about not being able to work Powerpoint)?
Why our Multimedia & Networks Supervisor questioned me when making an 8GB DVD-ROM "Why aren't you transferring the DVD video over the Internet"?
And why our Internet Skills lecturer INSISTS on using frames?
Bit pissed off at the moment. Going to get myself some custard and beer. Life should be ace after that.
In other news: I'm in serious need of a haircut. If I wore glasses, I would be Cousin It.
Linkski Linkskies!
Sorry, just curious:-
Who Links Here
Curteously piked from Cyn
Shit On The Arsenal.....
Manchester United 2, Scum 0: The unbeaten run is over.
Needless to say, I was chuffed to bits. Only one thing to be said here.....
Arsene Wenger! Jeremy Beadle (seriously)! Scaryduck! 90% of the visitors to Arseblog! Thierry Henry....can you hear me? Thierry Henry! George Graham....did u see that? You're boys took one hell of a beating!
Fashion Sense
Hollyoaks is filmed near us. For you Yanks out there, Hollyoaks is the only soap I kinda watch - largely due to the ladies on there being gorgeous. Even then, I'm not a huge fan - only since I hugged Izzy on a drunken night out in Liverpool in the first year, but we see the cast out all the time on the lash.
Anyway, on wednesday I went out with both the Welsh Society and the Bowlers - Christ I felt popular - to Mood. Whereby we saw him from Hollyoaks (the one on the left): -
Yep, Lee. The one who was shagging that Abby bird. Anyway, he thinks I have the coolest shirt in the world.
Anybody who knows me will know it: it's covered with chinese letters. £5 from Wades, and somebody famous thinks it's great!
Okay, I may be assuming - I was drunk, and my sarcasm detector is one of the first things to stop functioning under the influence, but I remember the conversation like it was yesterday (because, as it was early Thursday morning, it technically was):-
"Hey, you're that bloke from Hollyoaks!"
"Hey! Errr....Nice shirt!"
So, one semi-famous bloke from the telly thinks that another semi-famous bloke from the internet has a cool dress sense. I know I have, just people like Klien, Saint Laurent and err....Burtons have stifled my creative wearing for many years. Now that my fashion sense is out there, soon everybody will be wearing chinese shirts, tight jeans, subbuteo t-shirts and pendants.
Trust me, Beckham is no longer the height of fashion, a certain Welshie is......
You Know You've Had Too Much To Drink When....
Walking home from a night out at 2am, I get stopped by a worker from the oldest business in the world.
"Do ya want business darlin?" She said, wearing a dress that I could use as a hankechief.
"Not really." I said, smirking (I always try to be friendly), "Been out on the lash. You know, brewers droop and all."
"Oh come on, I offer a student discount." Quite where and when I'd get my NUS card swiped, I have no idea. "For you, just £10"
"No thanks."
At this point, my head is thinking what I've gotta do to get rid of her. My one plan came into fruition: say I have a girlfriend. Brilliant! Only a complete jackass would screw it up.....
Oh dear.
"You don't know what you're missing."
"I know. I've got a girlfriend."
"How will she know?"
"I am very under the thumb, besides she's expecting me home now." I said, hoping that certain parts of my anatomy don't suddenly start growing
What? I was talking about my pinocchio-stylee nose. Perverts.
Luckily, our lady of the night friend admitted defeat: "She's a lucky woman hunnie. What's her name?"
"Errrr....Dave."
Bollocks.
Blackpool Update
Blackpool was a lot of fun, here's some minorly cool things from my day: -
Bus way there. Majority over 50. Bus driver said "who wants some music". Radio 1 comes on. First song - GLC's "Your Mother's got a Penis". Radio off.
The guy sat behind me looked like "Johnny Nice Painter" from the Fast Show.....
Thankfully, he didn't say "Black".
The Big One was shut! It didn't really bother me (not a roller coaster kind of person), but my brother was gutted. It was due to this. It did re-open, and all was well with the world again.
There seems to be more strip clubs than what I seem to remember. Result!
Also, tons of pubs and clubs. Should I ever get off my arse and get meself a lady, and should it all go well. I'm having my stag do there, and you are all invited!
As I'm on a no Fruit Machine ban, I spent ages playing video games. One which Roland would like involved playing a ninja. It's kind of like a gun game, but instead of firing a gun, you wave a sword between some sensors. It's ace, if painful. A guy behind me taught me some tactics in a Splinter to my Leonardo kinda way. They didn't work. I died.
It was not all new games, I also played an original game of Track & Field. Immidiate RSI in my wrist though.
Despite that, I had a brilliant time. Didn't spend too much, so my mum would be pleased.
In Other News: I've lost about 4lbs, taking me down to a lean, mean 13st 11lbs. First time I've been under 14 stone since about '87. Result!
The Geek Shalt Inherit the Earth
Ever seen any flick featuring a female geek? They are gorgeous - take Michelle from American Pie, the bird from Marylin Manson's Tainted Love video, the bird from She's All That - all supremely attractive, and all geeky. I've long since pioneered the attractiveness female geeks at my mates, but get laughed at.....
Well, who's laughing now?
Me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Incidentally, should you be a female geek, please email me your name, Counter Strike handle, vital statistics, frags/death averages, turn ons and Unreal Tournament weapon of choice. Ta.
In other news: Blackpool was ace, I'll let you know further things when I'm not so knackered (got in an hour or so ago).
Didn't We Have A Lovely time....
...the day we went to
Blackpool
Basically, it's Britain's premier seaside resort (yes
Roland, better than Brighton), with tons of arcades, "kiss me quick, squeeze me slow" hats, fish and chip shops and arcades. It's where the whole of Britian spends at least one weekend of their life there (this will be my 4th visit). It's where WWE superstar
William Regal was brought up, it was where
Peter Kay's hilariously funny 'Top of the Tower' was filmed. And I'm going tomorrow. And so's my mum. And so's my brother. And three of his mates.
Still, it's gonna be ace.
In other news: Anybody felt this week has flown by? Maybe I've just been busy.
In other Outtake related news: This post was on 10 hours on the Liverpool 10 Pin Bowling Site. Oh how we laughed.....
Just like watching a carcrash
It finished a sad day to be a Welshman, being
an undeserving 3-2 to Poland, almost ruling out qualification for the World Cup. Not wishing to sound girly, but I almost cried.
In other Fooball news: Beckham is a knobhead.
Don't worry, more un-football crap will follow soon. I promise.
I've become so cynical these days.....
Today we had the
Liverpool Career's Fair held - unsuprisingly - in Liverpool, in St. Georges Hall. Basically, you're supposed to go to these places and sign up the rest of your life away for a career. Or try to.
You see, with practically everybody in the UK going to uni to do Penis Studies or summit like that, employers now look for A-Level Grades.
"Woah!" I hear you shout. "You're A-Levels are shite!"
Exactly. Maybe I'm being a bit hypocritical (though I did get onto the course I'm doing because I showed interest, and my games were well recieved) here, but surely something I did 3 years ago is less relevant than what I did 2 years ago. Hell, I told them about being STEP Merseyside Champion and they said "That's nice". Three years ago I didn't drink. Three years ago I didn't have access to the internet. Three years ago I had never kissed a girl.
Jeez. I'm just so frustrated at the moment, and it seems like I'm not the only one
That being said, I am happy with life at the moment. I know it's not the end of the world. I'll make summit of my life.
Now, for the benefit of Potter, who showed appreciation from Sunday's post, here's some more F1 Babes.
Well, I did warn you this blog wouldn't be deep as my old one.
I AM (not) TIGER WOODS
Yesterday,
Stephen Gallacher won the Dunhill Links Championship, by finishing the tournament 19-under-par. I'd just thought I'd share this with you for one reason.
I bloody hate professional golf.
Yesterday, I went to Allerton Golf Course on the other side of Liverpool in...errr...Allerton. What I don't like about golf on the telly is just how easy they make it look. Even getting it off the ground was a major achievement for me. The times that it did - albeit briefly - defy gravity, it was usually so far off course that it crossed an international date line.
Yes, I'm aware it was my first time, and - my mum would be pleased - I finally used my clubs which was my Christmas present a few years back. I manage to hit on a 34 par course a grand total of 60 - leaving me 26 over par. For those of you who don't have a clue about golf, let me spell it out for you: It's not good.
However, despite the fact I spent more time in the trees than Tarzan, I will probably play again. Despite the fact that I was terrible, I did have fun. I just don't want to watch it on telly anymore, as it makes me feel like a sad, pathetic loser.
Formula 1? Now THERE'S a spectator sport:-
What?
I'm A Bastard
In retrospect, it shoulda been a draw. Nevertheless, England won
What? You were expecting anti-English comments? Not gonna get any. Hell, we were unlucky with 2-0 (should of been a draw or 1-0 to England). Buit we can accept defeat. Honest.
In the end though. Us Welshies can leave with our heads held high.
One thing I must mention though was the commentary from The Beeb. You can tell someone said to them (especially Greame Le Saux) beforehand "Listen guys, praise the Welsh, so they don't get suspicious.". There were no positive comments about the way England were playing, even though they did play well. Bit wierd, I thought.
Hell, I'm probably just a bit bitter.
Where it all begins.....again
I've decided to take the plunge and start a new blog today, which is what you horrible lot are looking at at the moment. Sure,
the old one was fun, but I felt like I needed a change of writing styles. So instead of long drawn out stories, this blog will be full of quick snippetts and pictures. Why? Two reasons:-
- It's quicker and easier for you, my 45 million readers
- I just cannot be arsed launching into a tirade every so often. So, a little often is better than a lot occassionally.
Sure, I'll be whoring
Fark every now and again, and there'll be more of what I'm into: video games, football, boobs, boozing and generally being a 20 year old superstar.
Actually, it hasn't changed much, has it?
