When I was 13, I got my first real crush. I had to really, I was in the generation of Girl Power - and bands such as Spice Girls, All Saints and B*Witched meant that it was easy for a boy to become a man. However, none of the members of said bands stirred my early teenage giggleberries quite like Billie Piper.
I dunno, it was a hint of rebellious older teenager yet still lovely that caught my eye during her infectious (at the time, now I think it's vile) song "Because We Want To", as the years went by she slipped into an older age bracket, with naughty interviews in FHM whereby she revealed she was bi-sexual. As a overly virile 16 and a half year old, she was my dream girl. Slightly posh, minted, and partial to a bit of girl on girl action. However, around this time I started making friends with real girls, Billie knobbed a ginger and went on to appear in Dr. Who, and we went our separate ways.
Until Saturday.
Whilst myself, Guy and Zandr were walking down to town to help Zandr pick some clothes (though, like asking me for fashion advice is like asking Mahatma Gandhi to be your army general) - there was a large queue formed outside Waterstones. "Wonder who it could be?" we thought - and then (as we are gamblers) wagered. I said "oh, some kid had a Doctor Who book, so I reckon it'll be the guy who plays Dr. Who". Turns out it was Billie Piper, who - despite being only 2 years older than yours truly, had her autobiography out. At this point I said to my mates "I'm going to get a picture", so I peeled off and went into the shop.
At this point I'd like to explain something. Colwyn Bay is completely devoid of anybody that can be called a celebrity. If there are, they're usually in the Pen-Y-Bryn, whereby Welsh Legend Craig Morgan was in last week, as well as the brother of Colwyn Bay's defensive rock Neil Coverley. But apart from that, nobody really famous. Hell, by the fact that I walk the streets mean I'm probably the third most famous person you will see on Colwyn Bay's street at any one time (behind Richard Brunstom, and the guy who has a beard, never washes, draws porn and rides a bicycle). So, with the chance of seeing a real life celebrity and one of my crushes, I thought "fuck it", skipped the queue, and tried to take a quick picture.
By god you would of thought the Pope was in town. She had a bigger entourage than most rappers. However, using my previously unfounded skills as a paperazzi photogropher, I realised that if I stood on the stairs and took a photo down, I could bypass the bouncers and take a photo.
Or so I thought.
Turned out there was a plain clothed bouncer on the stairs, who made it his sole responsibility to ruin my photo.
That man ruined what love I had for Wiltshire's finest, and ruined a perfectly good blog article for you. I'm not one to complain, but one picture wasn't going to hurt anybody - it's not like I'm jumping around in her face and stuff. Christ, she was going to be there, just didn't see the point in queuing. In my opinion - asking for a footballer's or sportsman photo/autograph is rude, because they don't need to entertain the public for their success. Actors and certain other people in the public eye who need your support (providing your not too much of a dick) should be nice if you ask for a photo/autograph, because they're success is supported by people like yourself.
Actually, I suppose I should cut Billie some slack, I'm sure she wouldn't of mind if I got a quick - non intrusive snap of her on a shitty mobile. Oh no, the real sods are the profiteering bastards at Waterstones who have pissed me off twice within the last month (time #1 was when they took over Ottakers in Llandudno - which was ace - and made it shit). A bunch of wankers who are stifling british authors: think about it, if I got a clean shot of Billie, this entry would be so much better, alas - it's not.
So, in closing, even though I doubt she wrote a single word of it, you can buy Billie Piper's Book, I'm not going to stop you. However, for my sake, please don't buy it from Waterstones, they're utter cunts.
Question: if you wrote an autobiography, what would it be called? Bonus points for titles that are so ambiguous and vague you have no idea who it's by (as in Ms. Piper's book - "Growing Pains". Got fuck all to do with her. Better title would be "Because I Wanted To", in my opinion).
Comedy Night In Liverpool Royal Court, Sexiness and Dominos Pizza
I'm back from Liverpool on what must have been one of the best weekends this year. Saturday Night was brilliant, and it began at around 5:30, watching the football results come in and around the country.
We origianally planned to head to Weatherspoons for a spot of tea before the comedy, however we decided against it to have a Dominos. We forsaked it the night before instead going for the better value of Papa Johns. However, we realised the errors of our ways with the stodgy horrible pizza we got. Dominos is the king, and we tucked into the into the Tex-Mex and Pepperoni Passion pizzas, we were happy chappies.
After the Dominos, we headed out to the main event of the weekend - Comedy Night with Jim Jefferies. We saw Jim earlier this year and promised ourselves we'd go and see him should he ever be in Liverpool. After what seemed like an eternity, the show began.
A wierd disappoinment with the first act - Chris Cairns. Nothing against the guy, I've seen him before and he is hilarious, but truth be told I couldn't understand him! Maybe it was the obscene amount of boddingtons in the bloodstream, but I could not follow what he was saying. I think the main - almost disturbing reason - was that I've been out of Liverpool for 6 months, I'm once again not used to the accent. Shame, as everybody else in the audience was laughing, so meh - he was probably very good.
Second act was Duncan Oakley, boy - this was a treat. He had a guitar, which generally means that he'll be amazing, or he'll be shit. Luckily he was the former. It must be hard to do 90% of your routine in song (not just song, but constantly playing the guitar), but he pulled it off. To top it all off, he was better on the guitar than most band members of real rock bands. His version of "Wonderful Tonight" was brillaint.
Then came Jim Jeffries. Now, as much as it hurts me to say, he didn't have a good night. His humour - i feel - didn't connect with the whole audience. It did with me, Guy and Zandr - who was in tears all through the set. However, the bunch of gingers on their hen night (it's always a sad day whenever a ginger gets married before yourself) and the couple to the table left of us didn't find him funny. The table to the left of us actually got up and left - the Irish bird on it saying "I'm shocked and speechless". Humourless bitch - I take it she didn't appreciate the IRA Joke then.
As I said myself, Guy and Zandr found him amusing and, with Jim plugging signed copies of his new CD, we had to go and buy one. b3ta.com said a few weeks ago "Never meet celebrities, they are all cocks" - however, Jim (and Duncan who was also sat at the bar) seemed to really appreciaate that we liked the show. We got their Myspace details (how sad is that?!?!) and left. So, b3ta, semi-famous comedians are not cocks, which is more can be said about another celebrity. More on that story tomorrow.
At this point, I was planning to ring Ian, to find out where he was. However, my phone battery ran out, si I had to forsake meeting him - even though I promised I would. Ian - I am really, really sorry.
Instead, we went to a club called "Le Bateau". It's a bit off the beaten track, but boy is it gould. It's cheap, underground (which somehow makes clubs seem so much better), and played indie rock all night. Fabulous.
It was there I noticed something that I've never experienced before - female attention attention in clubs. Celeste noticed this herself, as have I last night. I never wanted to admit it as a fat bastard, but I'm happy to do so now. Losing 2 stone has made me feel and (according some girls last night) look - dare I say it - sexy.
Unless I am to continue my train ride home diet of Dr. Pepper and Haribo for the next two weeks, I'd like to issue a warning to all the ladies of London. Be prepared, this Welsh hunka burning love is coming to your town!
Last 24 hours, the internet have produced two stories to make me chuckle. Here they are.
First - step up b3ta.com. Many people know the love I share for this amazing site. It is purile, sick, and offensive to all. By doing so, it appeals to a large proportion of the internet - who are purile, sick and offensive to all. However, they do also have a conscience - in that they cannot be bought.
Virgin Money wanted to start a Viral Ad Campaign. They contacted b3ta to say "open a weekly competition on what it would be like if you said 'yes' to everything, you can win X360's!". b3ta responded with "alright, but you must be pretty thick skinned". Virgin said "No worries, we're hip and cool and trendy, we can take a bit of stick.". So the compeition went ahead, b3tans stuck by their guns and instead of producing witty insights into what the world would be like, instead posted rather crude and funny creations such as this. Virgin then responded with "TAKE IT DOWN! CEASE AND DESIST! etc.", and the competition was pulled. Rob (the ginger guy getting weed on by Branson) put his version of events here, and it has been picked up by a few news sources already.
Second story surrounds the recently Nucleised North Korea. Deemed by some to be a terrorist threat, for our generation Kim Jong-Il is a comedic figure - especially with the likes of Team America. Step up Waxy.org, who has appeared to find online the Web portal for North Korea. Not wanting to go in there, but we can assume that this is the only website that North Koreans can look on - and not have any other websites the people can access.
So, step up Fark.com, which linked to the website. As such - the website suffered a slashdot effect, making it almost completely unusable (as you could probably tell - it's so slow). Fark is famous for taking down sites that can't handle it's bandwidth. It's a different thing taking down an entire nation's webspace. Hey, if it starts a revolution because people can't access email, then by god, we'll take credit for it!
Right, not going to be here for a few days, as I'm off to Liverpool for a bit. This week has been a bit poo, and I'm feeling a bit low, hopefully I can pick myself up with a night of comedy, dominos pizza and the company of two good mates, I'll be able to pick myself up again. Leave me nice messages on the forum guys!
So, today is when us normal people get our grubby mitts on Firefox 2.0. It was released at 0100 GMT, which means - like boxing matches, WWE PPV's and World Cups in shitty part of the world that don't care too much about football (some people exluded), we had to stay up late to install it.
Except I didn't. In fact, I've been playing with it for a few days thank you very much Han and Life Hacker. Of course, if you were a member of the awesome forum, you toocould of been playing with Firefox two days ago, like myself! But you weren't. Tough poopies! You'll have to join up so that whenever news breaks, you'll hear it there first.
Anyway, what has changed? Well, the first thing that strikes you is the new tabbing method. Instead of an "X" on the far corner, each individual tab has an "X" on it. Sure, I had a plugin that did that, but it seems much better implemented, on the new chrome toolbars.
Apart from that, I didn't really find many differences initially, but this is what I love about Firefox: to begin with, there aren't many differences. However, give it time, and you'll notice things which make you go "oh, cool!". Han noticed the Spell Checker, I noticed the "Reopen Recent Tabs", and the ease you can add search engines to the search bar (visit said search engine, click "add to search bar", and you're laughing). The manufacturers say "oh, it has amazing RSS and Phishing Pheatures", though I rarely use an RSS reader and I don't make time to go to Phishing sites.
Problems? Well, I don't really like one of the features. It sounds okay in principle - the fact that should you shut down your browser unexpectedly (ie. ctrl+alt+del), then you can restart with all your old windows open. The problem exists that shutting down the PC with Firefox open (something I regularly do). As a result, the next time I open Firefox it re-opens all my old windows. Now, you may say that's all well and good, but often I don't like having the windows I have open at night the first thing in the morning, especially if the last thing I look at is b3ta.com, and it's in the middle of the gayshift.
Late last night, I remembered something - that I subscribed to World Firefox Day by getting my mum to use it. One of the things that came with subscribing to World Firefox Day was to have your name in Release 2.0! I found out how to access the names....
Bollocks! It's in alphabetical order....okay, I'll have to wait.
Hehe....Sherman Dickman!
What? How gay is that? Why am I not in there?! Boo Firefox. Boo you Firefox! And boo the boat you sailed in on! You are lucky that IE is a big pile of donkey semen, otherwise I would of seriously considered switching!
Anyway, to get firefox 2.0, you can download it from this address. Do it now.
Fishes in Buns, Wynne Ale Brewery and rhyswynne.co.uk
Saturday was particularly good day for me, and not because of usual weekend japes. Oh no. After a night of drinking and no hangover (god bless real ales), me and my mum decided to head into Llandudno for a bit of shopping and a spot of lunch.
After a fairly successful trip to the amusement arcade on the promenade, I was a whopping £15 up. Being a gentle soul I treated my mum to lunch (she insisted on going Dutch later), in Fortes. "I like it here", mum said, "the portions are huge, and well presented". After seeing the Ploughman's Lunch (which we dubbed "A Ploughmen's Lunch", because no way 1 man should eat it), we decided to play on the safe side - Mum with a mushroom omlette, myself with "Fish In A Bun" a seside alternative to "Chicken In A Bun". I was expecting a McDonald's style "Fillet O Fish", though with real fish as opposed to shredded newspaper in it. I got something very different.
That my friend is a fish. The fact it dwarfs the bun knows that it comes from the sea. No newspaper shaped like that my friends. The tartare sauce was nice and chunky too. However, I did the very sensible thing - take the fish out, and had a chip butty with the fish on the side. Was rather nice.
It was there that I had one of my passionate revelations. I occasionally get these once about every 6 months, whereby I have to follow up with achieving it. They come like a flash and I have to follow them through. Half way through my fish in a bun/chip butty, I looked at my mum, and said what I say when I have my revelations.
"Mum. I need to brew some beer!"
I've decided I want to do as much as possible. Being at home limits certain opportunities, but brewing my own beer is one thing I'd like to do. After asking Ally for some excellent advice, I made a few purchases, and will hopefully be brewing fine ales to drink at my leisure. This purchase has - what I will discribe - as being a "Goz Purchase" (only certain people will understand that phrase), and I can see myself dragging the keg around to events for us to drink. It works out at about 40p a pint of fine ale, but I'm not starting the brewing process until I get back from holiday. Hopefully, if the readymix turns out alright, I'm going to do it from scratch. I'm still willing to take some more advice, anybody want to give me any assistance/encouragement?
Finally, I spent a portion of my weekend updating rhyswynne.co.uk, especially the front page, which includes up to date information from the forum amd the toplist, but now I think the homepage is a bit too texty. What do you people think? Would a generic picture add or detract from the site at the top? I think it wouldn't but Han thinks it would. EDIT: It looks crap in IE6. I will fix it later tonight...
It's Coming: TV Cards, Xbox 360 and Smoothie Makers
I'm 22, had a few girlfriends and done things that my parents wouldn't approve of, or indeed know about. I have a full time job, an ISA and a degree. I watch adult documentaries on cars and nazis, whilst still having a liking for cartoons. I enjoy piece and quiet, tea, and vegetables. I haven't been refused a drink in the pub in about 3 years, and I've yet to be refused a credit card, or entry into an 18 movie. I have a credit card.
I am, on all accounts, not a child.
So, imagine a little bit of horror when my mum said to me "Rhys, what do you want for Christmas?".
I'll be honest, I have no idea what I want Santa to pull from his sack for me. Last two christmases have been great. The reason being is that my mum has only had to catered for five of us, as opposed to 25 previous years. We wake up, have breakfast, open a few presents and generally eat, drink and be merry. We head off to the pub at midday, get nicely toasted on beer, before returning for some food. We then fall asleep on the couch in front of a movie, and drink, eat and merry more until late at night. Presents, by and large, aren't important for me. It is the day that is important.
So this got me thinking, what do I want for Christmas? I did want something - but that went out of the window this weekend (I will explain more tomorrow, or ask Ally, she knows what I bought). If money was no object, I'd get an XBox 360. We've got a HDTV and Router in the lounge, and mum has said she would happily accommodate it downstairs. Pro Evo 6 looks awesome on it, and it doesn't seem as stupid as the PS3 (in that it's under £500). However, I'm realistic. The only person who would splash out for a X360 would be me. Mum could not afford it.
I suppose i'd like a TV Card for my PC. I'd like one that can pick up freeview, the only problem would be aerial from it. I won't have access to the main aerial, only a little portable one. Will that be good enough to pick it up, or not?
The second thing is a smoothie maker. It will balance out my other invested interest that I mentioned above. I had a banana and mango smoothie on Saturday, and it was very nice. They're not too expensive (from from £24 on Amazon), go with my health kick I'm on at the moment, and could do me the world a good.
So, readers. It's 62 days until Christmas. What do you want Santa to leave you?
This week hasn't been too good a week. I've visited the doctors, the dentist and the vet all in a space of a week. All are pretty minor stuff, but the vet is what I want to talk about.
We spayed bonnie.
I did mention it in what my many millions and millions of fans have called the worst post ever (Sibley: I assumed they wanted mundane, so I gave them mundane. HB: I spelt "thought" correctly in the proper post, just didn't change it here), but I'll go into gory detail here. She had her womb ripped out, stitched up, and she became drowsy with a lampshade on her head.
"Awww", everybody said, "She's tired!". We wish she was still drowsy.
You see, Bonnie loves light and reflection, she is fascinated by it. If the light catches my belt buckle, or she knocks my optical mouse over exposing the innards, she stares at the wall for days. As I speak, it's a fairly bright day, and the light has more than one occassion caught her collar, which generates a relection. As such, bonnie has spent her day doing circles, it's highly amusing, and I wish I had a video on my phone to show you, alas I don't. But she's not exactly been easy to control the last few days, and I have been trying to avoid touching her wound.
At least it's stopped the main problem of her humping pillows, right? Wrong. At 7pm last night, she was once again straddling the pillow, rubbing her bits on it like a big fluffy doggy dildo. "Awww!" dad said, "she's weed on the pillow again, I thought we were meant to stop this!"
Yes dad....'wee'.
Mum wasn't at first best pleased, screaming "I want it put back!" and "I want a refund!", but then she thought of the problems that bonnie's mother had with phantom pregnancies, and became philosophical - comparing bonnie's situation to a friends who had a hysterectomy.
"As my friend told me: When you have an hysterectomy, you take away the nursery, but leave the play ground"
Just A Day: October 17th 2006 - One Day In History
This blog was originally written for the One Day In History Project. As such, it's a little more patronising than my usual self, as I explain things that regular readers would be very familiar with. I apologise profusely, but I don't want the people of the future thinking I'm a sloppy writer, do I?
I awoke on Tuesday 17th October by the binmen, regular bin men this week, not the recyclable lot from a week ago. Beginning to wish we recyled every week, as the quiet recycling truck just stealthy drives along, as opposed to the flashing yellow light behemoth that is the bin lorry. Then I heard scratchings on my bedroom door, it was bonnie, my dog, wanting to wish me a good morning.
If only she knew what we were doing to her today.
Today, we were taking her in to be spayed, a simple operation that will leave her wombless. However, it does mean that she's groggy for the next few days - a sight I cannot bear.
An hour after waking, I got up, to go to my day job as a web designer. I'll be honest, it a was fairly uneventful day, and most of what we do we can't really speak about - history museum piece or not, I'm not losing my job. The big joy comes at 7:45pm in the evening, when I take myself off to the football. So, 5pm rolled around, and I headed home, where I was greeted by my impotent dog, groggy, with a lampshade over her neck, which stops her from chewing at the stitches, after a quick tea of sweet & sour chicken with rice, I put on my football shirt, and went to Llanelian Road.
Llanelian Road is the home ground of Colwyn Bay FC, my local football team. This game was promising to be something: three wins on the bounce, two groups of supporters with brand new flags, and the prospect of facing lowly Warrington Town meant that surely, we could make it four wins out of four?
We lost 2-0.
Dejected, I had a pint in the club house after the game. "Don't put this performance in your blog" they said, "don't want Colwyn Bay going down in history as a team that produces shocking performances on the pitch, because we're so much better than that.". I apologised, saying my blog is warts and all, and - it's what the museum would have wanted.
At 10pm I went home, and saw my dog again - she still had the lampshade and stitches, but she was a lot more awake, scoffing chicken. "So, my October 17th kinda sucked, but at least my dog is getting better", I thouhgt as I drifted off to sleep.
Argh! Sorry for the lack of updates, been really busy with one thing and another. Was supposed to update last night, but unfortunately (for you) I got dragged to the pub to watch Chelskum vs. Bartha, I'm still quite busy at the moment, but as a peace offering, here are some pictures from my trip to Blackpool, with humourous captions:-
Staying at the service station, we saw this coach, and it amused me greatly. Elcock! Mum said I was immature.
We arrived at blackpool 40 minutes later, and met up with Sarah shortly after midday, we then took a stroll along the North Pier (which is the quiet one), which my mum thought was a good photo opportunity.
By this time, we'd been in a few arcades, and Mum won a dog - called Winston, so - chuffed to bits, she took a few photos with it.
We then had a bit of lunch (fish 'n' chips!), and then we headed onto the beach for a walk.
Myself with a donkey called Lennox, Sarah was sure it was a gay Donkey.
Yes, Lennox. It was such a chavvy name. Here is Lennox with Chelsea. Bah, Donkey naming has gone downhill.
Proof we are in Blackpool by the way.
We walked along the beach, and we saw the cutest thing ever.
Everybody say "AWWWW!!"
We then went on the Central Pier, whereby I had two goes on the dodgems for the price of one!
After a cheeky half at the end of the pier, Sarah had to love us and leave us, leaving myself and Mum to cruise the Illuminations alone. Those photos, and more, are available in my Flickr Album
British Bloggers Will Make History Tomorrow and rhyswynne.co.uk
One of my life's dream is to be immortalised in some way, kind of like have something here that - when I'm gone - something of me remains. Sure, I've this ere blog, but should I pop my clogs tomorrow, it would be gone in March, when the hosting is due to expire. So, imagine my curiosity when this story popped up on Yahoo! News.
LONDON (AFP) - The details of a day in the lives of hundreds of thousands of Britons will reportedly be recorded and compiled into a digital time capsule that will be stored permanently at the British Library.
The "One Day in History" project, described as a "blog for the national record," will feature British celebrities such as actors Stephen Fry and Derek Jacobi, and the writer Bill Bryson contributing to the compilation, along with any Briton with access to the Internet who wants to participate, The Sunday Times reported.
Students and teachers at 29,000 schools have also been invited to join in the project, along with pupils at the Dubai British School, who will blog about expatriate life in the Middle East. Any Briton who logs on to the website www.historymatters.org.uk can also submit their own contribution.
Anyone who participates is asked to submit between 100 and 1,000 words about their day on Tuesday, in either English or Welsh -- the project was inspired by mass observation exercises conducted by sociologists through and since World War II to record the details of daily life.
"We want this day to have its own place in history and be a snapshot of everyday life at the beginning of the 21st century," said Fiona Reynolds, the director-general of the National Trust, which is organising the project.
This sounds like such a cool idea - hundreds of thousands of diary entries recorded for posterity tomorrow. Of course, the most exciting thing that is happening tomorrow is the mighty seagulls play Warrington Town, so the majority of the blog will focus around that. But still, british bloggers, will you be participating in this project?
It will probably be reposted on here, even though the link in the article doesn't work yet.
Oh, and incase you missed it, visit my new webpage: rhyswynne.co.uk, it contains my web design and programming work, a link to the toplist and also a link to the forum. If you spot any mistakes, please let me know.
As I told everybody on here - I was off to the dentist yesterday. Everybody who I've mentioned that I was having root canal work has said either "ouch" or winced. My mum did her usual fabulous job of reassuring me, saying "oh, after mine, it only hurt for a few days.". Cheers for that. So, imagine my apprehension as the dentist plunged a needle directly into my gums. Oh, and the reassuring line whist doing it: "This is just phase one of the treatment". Bollocks.
I got called back in 10 minutes later, my mouth numb. So begins the root canal work. Suprisingly, it was painless. I know I was smacked off my tits on anaestethic, but - whilst I gagged more times than a prostitiute - I wasn't in any pain. Sometimes even when I am high as a kite, I still feel pain. However, this would be just like when I had the filling at christmas - fine until the anaestethic wears off, then in horrible pain. However, unlike that Nightmare Before Christmas, I would prepare with enough ibuprofen to kill an elephant, but I'm crap at swallowing. I needed some water. Cue Highland Spring with one of the most ill thought out sports caps ever on a bottle.
I mean seriously, how the hell are you supposed to open that. In the end I bypassed the device that added 20p to the price of the thing, and drank the water. But I didn't need the ibuprofen, as I was in bearable pain. I know I mock and knock, but I really do have an awesomely good dentist. It's criminal that he's on the NHS, but I'm so happy he is. And he refuses to see chavs too, as they waste his time by cancelling all the time because they cannot be arsed getting out of bed.
In other news, I launched rhyswynne.co.uk today. Go check it out! It's nowhere near finished, but I feel it's got enough content to start promoting it. So, check it out and try and spot any glaring errors, you all know my address, but if you don't, just leave a post on the forum, or use the contact form, to say "Rhys, this part of the site is fucked!"
Right, I'm off to Blackpool in the morning to see the lovely Sarah. Pictures will be taken, and this time, I won't spend all my time in the arcades with Guy. Though that was an awesome day, and no mistake.
As many of you know, I chose to watch Colwyn Bay instead of Wales on Saturday, and my post was less than complementary. Truth be told, I haven't seen any of the highlights from that game, just the result. My post probably reflected this. Some people who did watch the game were complimentary, and it's largely been echoed by a number of people saying "Give Toshack and Wales time, it's a young side. There will be good days soon".
Wales dominated the first half, playing with passion and fire. Craig Bellamy looked unbelievably passionate and strong, Lewis Price did everything he asked for in goal, Koumas had a good game, Robinson was clinical, Davies played well. Everything just seem to get right. Our left back - Gareth Bale - is usually the talk of Wales games, because even at a young age he looks dangerous. He didn't get a mention in most write ups. That's not saying he played poorly, it's just how strong everybody else played. We only conceded a goal when we got complacent. But there were so many positives from the game (including ex Bay boy Craig Morgan's first cap for Wales - another strong performance), that we'll ignore that. Sure, detractors say "it's only Cyprus!". Well, they beat Ireland on Saturday 5-2. And Ireland are not a bad team. It's the Irish who we play next, so fingers crossed we get a good result. I doubt we will qualify for the Euros, but by god - being a Welsh football fan has once again made me happy.
The other thing that made me happy was another result. Okay, 2-0 was a fair result (the overpaid multimillionaires didn't look like they wanted to be there), but it should of been only one goal in the game. Have a look at the second goal, and laugh.
Certain things in this life get funnier the more you see them. That video is one of them.
Right, I'm off to the dentist. Expect a blog post tomorrow consisting of nothing but ARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!
Driving Tests, Mp3 Players and the new Renault Clio
I've started getting junk mail. Lord knows where they get my details, but by and large it's for generally cool things like beer and Subways. Always nice when a card pops through the door from "The Sub Club" saying that I've got a free 6 inches of sandwichy goodness. However, this morning, this popped through the door, curteosy of Renault.
The market research department in Renault are brillint! First of all, I'm 22. Secondly, I'm skint. Thirdly, I can't drive! I am not qualified to drive the new Renault Clio because - well - I'm not qualified to drive anything!
Speaking of unqualified, Aled failed his driving test. He failed by hitting the kerb (something he's never done), and "Lack of Observation when pulling out" - something I've been guilty of in the past. I broke my Mp3 player too.
Today marks the first delivary day in which we are forced to recycle. Well, we're not forced, it's just that our binmen only come once every two weeks. Every other week instead of a bin lorry we get a recycling lorry which (I think) is electric, and the binmen sort it into cans, paper and bottles.
I think it is a very good idea, and on my walk to work this morning, there were tons of metal, bottles and paper waiting to be recycled, I never realised we lived on a street with so many alcoholics! Sure, we're not going to save the world, but it's a quick and efficient and easy way to do our bit. My mum has transformed from a Daily Moan reading Conservative into a recycling mad enviromentalist conservative. She has really got into it, and we were discussing this a few weeks ago, and Mum came up with an idea.
"Why can't we have a few recycling bins up here? I mean. We have to go to either Rhos on Sea, Abergele or Mochdre to recycle our stuff. Surely if instead of getting in our gas guzzling cars, we could drop off a few bags a week when we walk our dogs, for example. There's a carpark outside the community centre that is never been full. Surely a few recycling bins, emptied every so often wouldn't go a miss, surely?"
What a brilliant idea.
My mum - being that sort of person to get on with things - wanted to pen a letter to the local council, but she didn't know who our councillor was. So she made a phone call to the council to find out.
Nobody there knew either.
I've been searching through the Conwy site and I'm just as confused. Nothing really says (I mean, I haven't looked really hard) that "Colwyn Heights people can write to this person to get recycling bins here".
I'm actually feeling quite passionate about this, and want to do something to the community - my mum's lost a bit of interest. I'll keep searching to see if there are any clues, but if anybody else wants to assist me, that would be brilliant.
EDIT: Haha, I'm so crap. 10 minutes after writing this, I found it. They have e-mail too. I'm going to write to them!
After the success of Mum & Dad's holiday to Belgium earlier on this year (I'm still drinking the beer they gave me as a present, damn it's good stuff), Mum has decided to bugger off again, this time to Nottingham, to stay with Rick where they will do all sorts of fun stuff. As we speak, my mum is bopping around to everybody's favourite One Hit Wonders: The Goo Goo Dolls (Controversial statement I know, but come on. Name one other song bar Iris without clicking on that link*). In her absence, I have once again be promoted to mother, with the rest of the family positions re-organised, with each family member taking up a tempory more important role. Aled has been promoted to "Older Brother", Bonnie's been promoted to "Younger Brother" and Dad has been promoted to "Dog".
Mum is not without her influence in her absence though. The notices have once again appeared on every single door. Giving instructions on what to do.
However, Mum does have more faith now. They were up about 3 months before she went last time, and she hasn't called me once yet, as opposed to the 20 million times she called me from Belgium (ironically, as I wrote that statement, she called me. She played me Iris down the phone. By god, it sounds like she's at the most conservative gig ever. No bloody noise!). So I must be doing something right.
In her absence, I've started up a Facebook account. Everybody is whinging at me to get one, so I did. I'm not sold on it, to be honest. It has some nice features - allowing you to import RSS feeds into your Facebook blog is something I wished Myspace did, and the Facebook game is quite amusing, and there are groups that promote my way of thinking. But by and large it just seems a little dry. Anyway, if you want to add me below is my facebook badge, promoting my excellent forum and my excellent toplist.
But yeah, as I said - Facebook I'm not liking. Sure Myspace is full of dicks, but Facebook is full of students, and students are by and large anti-war, which makes them pussies. Also Facebook don't allow changing of colours and anything, you have to keep them all the same. And by keeping everything the same, you're bowing to communism. And do you know who's a communist? Kim Jong Il. And, if Team America has taught me anything. It's taught me that Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Anyway, pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!
Ahem....sorry, it just seemed appropriate.
* If you name another goo goo dolls song, I'm assuming you're cheating
Colwyn Bay vs. Osset Albion, Wales vs. Slovakia, Euro 2008
I made a decision to forsake the Wales game for the Colwyn Bay, we haven't been playing well recently, and was expecting another defeat. I heard good news on the gate: apparently, the league had sent extra staff to watch over the referees, or something. Either way it's a good thing, as dodgy officiating have plagued are last two games.
We pressed forward, and - although Osset scored a goal, it was ruled offside. Lewis Callaghan who has been inspirational and a hell of a worker scored after 20 minutes to make it 1-0 with an excellent chip over the keeper. It remained scrappy football with us firmly in control for the middle third of the game. Darren Wright missed a few good chances, as he was on a scoring drought only beaten by Andriy Shevchenko. However, his hard work paid off as he was released down the right side of the box, firing past the keeper - to the delight of the Bay faithful and to himself. Then followed a period of dominance, with the occassional Osset chance. Steve Hussey came off the subs bench to kill tge game off towards the end. Final score Colwyn Bay 3, Osset Albion 0.
So many positives can be taken from the game. The fact we didn't conceed, the fact we won convincingly, nobody had a bad game. The next game is against Chorley, who are 2nd from bottom with 3 points so far this season (compared to our 20). The other major positive is that my shirt is not bad luck! Only if I wear my scarf with my shirt is it bad luck. If I wear my shirt sans scarf, or scarf sans shirt, then it is good luck. But overall, a lot of positives, and not many negatives.
Which is more than can be said for Wales, losing 5-1 against Slovakia, at home. I haven't seen the game, and I don't really want to, but from what I've heard there are hundreds of areas that need to improve on before Cyprus. Euro 2008 is all but over for us now, I can't see us coming back. Slovakia was a must win game, we fancied our chances, we got massacred.
Right, proper un football related post soon, I promise.
Oh, and everybody go over to eruanna.net and wish Han a happy birthday! 19 years old today! I put her present up on the forum, so you can go there too to see it!
Search Engine Optimization, Last Night "Date", Club vs. Country, Wales vs. Slovakia
One of the highlights of my job (because I'm rather good about it) is Search Engine Optimization. I SEO'd this site, the forum and my toplist site. When rhyswynne.co.uk gets launched, I'll probably SEO it too. It came around to bite me in the bum last night.
"So how's your groin?"
"Fine"
"Sexual Karma Fairy been good to you?"
"Wait a minute.....how do you know about that?"
"Oh, I was search for a ringtone of Glyn off Big Brother, and your site came up first.
"Ah right. Cool."
"So.....this is a date?"
Actually, that being said, I had a fabulous time. I been having a realisation that, fuck it, I'm 22 and going on a few trips and holidays soon, so I don't really want to be tied down with a relationship. She's cool with that. Drink did quite a bit of talking last night, but she seems understanding. Which is great. She's asked me out for a drink on Tuesday, I said yes. Just as friends though.
3pm today is presenting a massive dilemma. Osset Albion play The Mighty Seagulls at the same time as Wales vs. Slovakia. Club vs. Country. I can either go and watch Bay play, or watch Wales play at home. After a huge wrestling match with my conscience, club won out - even after they teased "Big News" on the site (headline: "EX-PREMIERSHIP STRIKER COULD END DAV’S SEARCH" story: "Matt Le Tissier holds up a Colwyn Bay Scarf", jeez boys - whats Brett Angell doing nowadays?). My rationale was that I think Wales would manage fine. Mark Lawrenson has tipped them for a win 2-1. Mark Lawrenson is usually very wrong though. There'll be dancing on the streets of Colwyn Bay should both results come good though, I'll make sure of it.
First of all, I want to thank you for the joy you've brung me. Tonight, as you may know, I'm on a date. Not just any date, oh no. This date is the first one in a year I've actually want to go on. No disrespect to the nutty veggie in June, but she was a nutty veggie. For that, I'm very, very appreciative.
You've filled me with an emotion I haven't felt in ages: giddy anticipation. Maybe it's just me being blinded, but I really can't see anything going wrong, short of being hit by a car. In the 7 short days I've been aware of this girl, we have got on seemingly like a house on fire. Even my percieved "worse case scenario" of - "lets be friends, we'll just see how it goes", would stil be great. Maybe it's just because my social life is a bit poo at the moment, maybe it's because since January I've not been able to get laid inside a women's prison, but something has got me squeeing (as Apple Han would say). I even got jittery leg in anticipation - something not seen since that time I went to watch the WWE in Manchester.
I think the thing I'm most proud of, irrespective of the girl, is that you've given me the confidence to actually ask out a girl. She said yes too! That's never happened before, as I'm usually too shy. First time I've actually grown a pair to ask out a girl, and it was actually incredibly painless.
Sexual Karma Fairy, you have - for a short time - made me feel positive, and I thank you.
But really, when I was walking down to work, did you really have to make me trip up, causing me to lose my balance, resulting in a minor groin strain? I'm in fucking agony!
Your Pal.
Rhys Wynne BSc. (Hons)
P.S. I have also created a toplist stie, and would appreciate you joining. Add your site and link code into your blog, and we can get a ranking (or, how mispronouncing Chinese people would say - "Wanking") system, to see who really is the best blogger in the world ever. And don't forget to join the forum! Will posted a hell of a good programme up there, but I'm not going to tell you what it is! You'll have to visit the site to see it!
Behold my NUS card. For 3 years it gave me 10% off in Topman, Burger King, HMV and Pizza Hut, as well as discounted buses. It was ace. What made it even better it was before the NUS realised they could make money out of it and started charging for the "NUS Extra", which basically was all the fun stuff from the original card. Nevertheless, some "Unofficial NUS Partners" (which I was told by a mate of mine that "Should shop there, they'd be harming the Student Community cause using unapproved discounts". Bullshit) remained, one of which is Peacocks.
I love Peacocks, it's cheap, it's relatively plain fashion, and nobody ever wears their stuff. Most of my clothes are from there, and I'll be damned if anybody can tell the difference. I was browsing there today for a shirt for friday, when I found it. Pale brown with "Legend" written across it, I was sold, when I noticed a sign that tempted me.
"Students get 10% Discount"
Brilliant. Even 18 months after I've finished university, my card is still valid. It's great, just stick my thumb over the date, or give the old "oh, I'm on a gap year working in an orphanage, I haven't got my new one yet", and I usually get my discount*. So I tried the same again today.
She was having none of it.
Shit, did I feel silly.
I mean, it's only 60p, but by god by trying to claim it, the cashier looked like I was grandmother. I even claimed "Oh, I've just started today in Llandrillo", for insinuating I went to Llandrillo Technical College, I'm sure my brother will never speak to me again.
All for 60p.
In happier news, I've got my forum set up! I've been tinkering around with it, caving in to people's requests for updates like the spineless admin that I am, and it's beginning to show a little bit of life. However, I could use more members, as - although the current ones are fab - many discussions seem to revolve around my apparent homosexuality. I don't like it, please help sway the tide. Join, post, and make fun of Guy. Cheers.
* Should anybody from the mighty seagulls (who lost last night. Comment of the night: "Blog about the match? Pfft. I dunno how you can put a positive spin on it!") be reading the above statement - don't worry. I always pay full price, and never decieve you with my expired card. HMV are faceless corporations. CBFC is my second love. I would never cheat on it!
Google Adsense, rhyswynne.co.uk, b3ta.com and fark.com
Nothing has happened within the last 24 hours, so this post is mainly a "look what I've found!" post.
Ahh Google Adsense. How you dangle a carrot of "Making money from my blog" in front of me. Everybody in work seems to be making a shed load off Adsense, I'm not doing horrendously bad, it comes in spits and spurts (I think I made 5p in clicks yesterday, go me!). Nevertheless, I don't really have too much on what appears, they're usually blogs or blogging, except for when I do the odd post about North Wales or Football. However, I've generally never had any bad ads, until yesterday. No, it wasn't viagra, no it wasn't sexual. It was just....depressing.
We're all going to die!
In other news: I had my first Greenlight of Fark.com last night! Greenlight is when you submit a thread that appears on the main site. The thread was here, and I thought it was Asnine the story (hence the Asnine tag). However, opinions is divided. What do you all think?
If you need a good laugh today, check out b3ta.com's "Question of the Week", which is entitled "Inappropriate Crushes". We've all had them, fancying people we really shouldn't. Some of them are comedy gold. My inappropriate crush is in there, somewhwere. If you find it, you can share it. Share also your ones in the comment box!
Finally, there is a young woman in Kent this morning dancing for joy as I've bought PHP and MySQL hosting! I'm thinking of using it for my rhyswynne.co.uk (as I think I need it). Anyway, I'm thinking of starting a fourm and a topsites - esque link list. Would you join them, or am I just wasting my time?
I woke up this morning at the fantastically late time of 8am, after falling asleep sometime after 10. Groggy and disorientated, I stumbled my way into my dressing gown and into the bathroom to do my duties. After the loo, washing teeth and a shave, I took my dressing gown off and stood on the scales.
Fuck.
For the first time since forever, I've put weight on, meaning I'm over 13 and a half stone again.
I knew I didn't feel brilliant, I knew that I was miserable. Well, not miserable, just unsexy. I had began to feel good about myself, and I was experiencing a confidence that I wasn't feeling for a long time. However, a weekend of hedonistic activities. Curries, ham sandwiches and all sorts of foods went into my system. Not to mention 3 days of nights out - the curry night, friday night down at the local drinking 10.5% beer that nearly took my head off, and Saturday Night.
Boy, Saturday night.
Me and Jay went out to Llandudno. I wasn't expecting Jay to be back from university, but meh - he was. A quick ring to yours truly, and I decided to go out. We managed to get a seat suprisingly - Llandudno is packed on a Friday night, and we put the world to rights over the course of 3 hours. We sat by the quiz machine and we assisted two ladies playing the machine, who responded with "We're on the BHS night out, everything's paid for, have a few drinks on us.". Result! Again, we got drunker and drunker on real ale, and we left at around half 1 ish.
And now, I'm paying for my weekends activities. I'm over 13 and a half stone, and I feel dead ugly. My hair is a mess, and I think I smell. I'm not miserable, just feel very unsexy.
Which - all in all - is painful irony. The reason? I have a date on Friday.
When I was 13, I got my first real crush. I had to really, I was in the generation of Girl Power - and bands such as Spice Girls, All Saints and B*Witched meant that it was easy for a boy to become a man. However, none of the members of said bands stirred my early teenage giggleberries quite like Billie Piper.
I think it is a very good idea, and on my walk to work this morning, there were tons of metal, bottles and paper waiting to be recycled, I never realised we lived on a street with so many alcoholics! Sure, we're not going to save the world, but it's a quick and efficient and easy way to do our bit. My mum has transformed from a 
Actually, that being said, I had a fabulous time. I been having a realisation that, fuck it, I'm 22 and going on a few trips and holidays soon, so I don't really want to be tied down with a relationship. She's cool with that. Drink did quite a bit of talking last night, but she seems understanding. Which is great. She's asked me out for a drink on Tuesday, I said yes. Just as friends though.
