Row, row, row your boat.....
Sport is supposed to be fun, for both competitors and spectators. However, today was the one sport that is even more boring than F1: -
The boat race.
For the unitiated (again, largely American) audience, the boat race is this. Oxford and Cambridge University teams each enter a team to race a four mile course along the Thames in London. That's it. No bells, no whistles. Just two posh teams rowing against each other.
I've never understood why the whole nation has to be dragged into the rivalry of Oxford and Cambridge public school boys in their boats, but - by god - drawn in we are. This year curteosy of ITV, who have been hawking the fact they have the boat race almost as much as BBC's Doctor Who coverage.
Why can't other teams enter? Sure some of the Liverpool lot could, given a few long days on the Mersey, give the southern toffs a run for their money. I reckon it's the fact that neither Oxford or Cambridge have strong Ten Pin Bowling teams. That's the reason.
I suppose I should mention what I've been upto recently, as the recent posts suggest nothing. Okay. I arrived back from Liverpool to sunny Colwyn Bay last Wednesday, and have been juggling my life since then with the occasional socialising, writing a 7500 word thesis for my final year project, and serving ice cream to rowdy kids in the Zoo. Thank fuck the weather's been poor, as we've been relatively quiet.
It's not all doom and gloom. My mum, realising that the house is far less interesting with me in it, has decided to purchase Sky TV! Brilliant! 140 channels, and I can watch the wrestling, and half the shows mentioned in the last post. How cool is that?
But, to sum up, my life is pretty dull for you lot at the moment, so that's why blogging hasn't necessarily been about me, is that such a bad thing?
Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh wow wow wooooooooooow*
So, anybody see
Doctor Who then?
For the unitiated (mainly American) audience, Doctor Who is this guy who travells through time in something that resembles a phone box. Like Bill and Ted, Dr. Who is sent to save the world from all manner of alien beings. Unlike Bill and Ted, it takes itself fairly seriously. It was famous in the mid sixties for scaring kids as the aliens were pretty scary. The most famous were Daleks, who - despite being evil - couldn't navigate stairs.
To be fair, I only caught around 20 minutes of this - due to me being on the phone to an internet-less S, so I cannot really judge. But when have I not given my opinion? To be honest, I've never liked Doctor Who, it's a Sci-Fi for thick people, what with many aliens and very little scientific jiggery pokery behind it. Also, why is every alien in the known universe hell bent on destroying us? Not one alien is a good guy in Doctor Who. Intergalactic xenaphobia is not a good thing, and the BBC is promoting it.
But yeah, returning to my 20 minute review of the program. It was okay, and the aliens were actually quite scary, but meh. Didn't sell me. Which is unfortunate, considering how much the BBC have been pushing it down our throats within the last week or so. Seriously. When Eamonn Holmes doing the lottery from the Tardis, you know a show has been hyped to the max.
Just a shame for me it didn't deliver.
In retrospect, for any BBC bosses watching, here are 10 shows that should be brought back in order to boost ratings. Seriously.
So, Mr BBC, if you are reading this, I request - as a licence fee payer - to bring back all these shows. If you do, I will love you forever. Cheers.
* This is my attempt at the Doctor Who theme. Yes I know it's shite.
"Bowling's The Real Winner Here....."*
Hello again people. Thought you may be interested in a few photos from the weekend. These are small, as now I am paying for the bandwidth, they have to be. Also, I've included "witty" captions that took me all of 3 minutes to come up with....
The Mario Allstars team (eventual winners). Featuring the lovely S as Princess. Also featuring the relatively nice but not quite as sexually attractive in my opinion Chris as Mario and Guy as Luigi.
The Flintstones. Featuring Mike as Fred, Jen as Wilma and Karen as Pebbles. Also featuring ex-captain Paul as.....Paul
After the fantastic dicking on the Irish, I switched to more appropriate attire. And for some reason, a blacked up forhead.
Chris is suprised to find the levitation nature of the trophies.
Even with a high temperature, I'm still able to utilise my ninja-like skills of stealth and deception in order to humiliate S.
Me being hung in bowling, which means that you have to stand on the chair should you not bowl a strike and everybody else on your lane does. In other news, the words 'me' and 'hung' appear in the same sentance.
There are certain items of clothing even the erotic allure of our esteemed captain Guy cannot make sexy. The England rugby shirt is one of them.
During the count up of scores, we got bored. As such, we invented some games. Crown Pin bowling (crown green bowling with bowling balls), and Ten Bin Bowling (bowling at bins) were relatively unsuccessful. Lets see who can throw a bowling ball into each other's testicles was - on the other hand - a huge crowd pleaser. Chris won, after S was disqualified for...ahem..."lack of equipment".
I only really fell into this sport by accident at the beginning of the second year by just seeing a notice up on the university BBS and deciding to give it a go, and it has been very good to me, giving me friends, a lovely girlfriend, and has taken me all over the country, with nights out in many cities across the UK. The people are generally friendly, and the tournaments have been a lot of fun. I presume other sports (or so called sports such as Ultimate Frisbee) have similar meetups on this scale. I urge you to go to them, as they are a great laugh. Plus you get to stay in a hotel and drink beer and have cooked breakfast. Result!
* Quote from Paul Williams 19/3/05. AMF Hull
Highway to Hull
This weekend (the one just gone) was spent in Hull due to a weekend of bowling. Saturday I was bowling in the Hull trios, and cheerleading/gambling during the Hull quads the next day. Unfortunately, due to an illness, I bowled with a 105 temperature on the Saturday.
"But wait!" All you regular readers scream. "Wasn't Hull that tournament whereby you have to dress up?" But of course. So what did I wear for the trios? Our team decided on Austin Powers, and as such, I became Dr. Evil. Unfortunately, whilst Dr. Evil is known for his ability to create masterful plans to destroy the world in a chaotic but satirically humourous ways, he is not known for his bowling skills. My 105 temperature, ill fitting bald wig, and none of the good karma rubbing off on me meant that - save a rather impressive (not in the score, just in the way I bowled) 121 game - none of my games were over 100. So our team didn't make it through to the next round, unlike the other two Liverpool teams, Flintstones and Mario's Allstars (featuring S as the Princess).
In the end, the two Liverpool teams met in the final, with Mario's Allstars coming out on top. I was pleased for S, who walked (with great difficulty) from the tournament with enough beer to wipe out the ostrich population off the face of the earth. It was ages before that that I got changed into more appropriate wares.
Yes, after 3pm on Saturday I had to wear my Welsh top, to support the boys in their quest to become Grand Slam winners for the first time in 27 years. And would you Adam and Eve it, they did it. By tanking Ireland 32-20, Wales sealed a memorable victory in a Six Nations Championship that promised to be close. I'd love to say I went out and got hammered, but I drunk 1 and a half pints, ate a few chips, and felt ill. So, in Wales' finest hour since the last time we beat England at anything, I was tucked up in my hotel room watching Match of the Day with a box of tissues.
For my nose, perverts.
It's such a shame I wasn't well for the tournament, as it really put a dampner on the weekend. It's certainly the last tournament we go to whereby we stay in a hotel, which is such a shame, as everybody else appeared to have been fun. I must of been so boring in comparison. Nevertheless, they accommodated me, and for that I am greatful.
I return home for Easter on Wednesday, as I've still got a bit of Final Year Project to get on with. Speak to you all soon!
Immitation Is The Sincerest Form of Flattery
I've decided to be a pikey bastard and steal one of
Ian's features: The Photo of the week. For the unaware, he goes to
Barracuda in Liverpool every Tuesday. Every week there's a DJ there that takes pictures. Usually there is one of
him with a random bird.
However, we went to the Barracuda this week, and - conspicuous by his absence - was Ian. As such, for one week only, I'm taking over the photo of the week. And here it is: -
What? You didn't expect me to post one of me and S? Also featuring the Chester from Linkin Park lookalikey Zandr from bowling too.
Anyway, I'm feeling a bit bleugh, so I'm going to go to bed. Tatty byes!
Bitter? Moi?
The Bloggies have been voted for, and unfortunately, for the second year on the bounce, I have come up short. To
Dooce. Who's tagline isn't even on the blog. How? I mean, all the other competitors have, but that site it is something different. Therefore, why should they win?
Ah well, there's always next year. Seems I came a respectible fourth*. In your face Random Acts Of Reality. Yeah.
In other news: I almost set fire to the kitchen yesterday. Basically, I was cooking S some tea. In my rush, I washed a baking tray, but failed to dry it properly, so - when I checked on my food 20 minutes later - the kitchen was filled smoke. The remaining soapy water on the pans had evapourated. Imagine, if you will, snorting Fairy Liquid, or squeezing it into your eyes. Well, that was the feeling I got, and let me tell all you smackheads, there is no rush to report of.
The chips of the tea was ruined, but I insisting on eating the chicken pieces. They were Bernard Bloody Matthews Chicken. They don't come cheap**. They actually weren't too bad.
The end result of the kerfuffle? A relatively satisfied girlfriend and a banning from using the kitchen for three days.
Result!
Happy Steak and BJ Day everybody.
* Assuming all the people below me on the listing got less votes than me. Which may not be the case.
**Unless you are talking about chickens when they are still alive. They do sometimes go 'cheep'. BA DUM TISH!
Maybe....Just Maybe
Though I was stuck in a train during the (supposedly excellent) first half, I did manage to catch the second half of the Wales victory which means (after an Irish loss) that Wales are top of the group. The maths are simple, only a Wales astronomical loss to Ireland or Wales losing and France beating Italy by a large amount (more likely) can stop Wales from taking the Six Nations. Should, on the other hand, Wales beat the Irish, then we will win our first grand slam for nearly 30 years.
Do you believe in miracles?
In other news: any blokes out there discover that their voice goes a lot higher, girlier and more patronising whenever they are on the phone to thier spouses? I cannot explain it either, but I suppose in the male psyche, they think that women are beneath them, and they won't understand such brainwashing concepts as gambling, why we insist on buying the Sun, and - most importantly - the offside rule. I hate to say I am also guilty of this, as my mum now knows that when my voice goes half an octave higher, and my 'conversation' is filled with words such as "aaawwww", "yeah I know" and "hunnie", she knows I'm speaking to S. I dunno, any explinations why we do this? Is it that women have a higher band of frequencies they can hear, or what?
Back Home, We'll Be Thinking About You....
I have been home from my '
away from it all' weekend for approximately 4 hours (should of been 3, but we can blame Arriva North Wales for that). Here are my thoughts.
To the right is what I'm drinking tonight. Yes, cheap lager (though my mum bought it, and I do love her very much). Anyway, what I want to draw to your attention to the top: The logo is that or Morrisons. So, basically, we are buying expensive cheap shit. But I still love my mum for buying it me.- Whenever I head home, something seems to change, this time we have new throws. I think that's everything, but I am sure something will show up which will be new too.
- Comic Relief is going on, and much to the joy of Sky viewers, they can watch it guilt free! For the unaware. Comic Relief is a night of comedy mixed with serious messages, and this year they are taking the cake. I understand it's important and all, but in the hour between 8 and 9, there was only 15 minutes of actual material. The worst thing was that there are some 'corporate profiles' where they look at what certain companies achieve during red nose day. The repeated videos of the poor are fine, but knowing how fantastic Sainsburies are isn't.
Anyway, in what is quite either a evil move or a huge technical blunder by Sky, the videos that highlight the world plight are deemed 'unsuitable for children', and thus suffer the parental lock (should one be on). Everything else is fine, it's quite wierd how they've done it, but done it they have. So, after 3 videos on how Walkers are brilliant, I switched on the lock, and no more stuff about crisps. Brilliant!
Oh, and if it makes you feel any better, I've bought a red nose and filled the box with change, which I will give in this week.
Right, I am actually pretty tired (maybe cheap alcohol has an effect on me. Here's hoping!), so I am going to call an early night. Goodnight everybody, don't let the bed bugs bite!
Away From It All....
Hello! I am not dead, you'll be pleased to know. The reason being is that I have been working hard towards my final mark in University. It's fucking scary, I tell thee. The amount of work one module is (the project) is huge, and I'm practically working a 10 hour day some days. It's stressing me out and causing me to think of little else. Hate to say it, but I'm getting a bit fed up of university.
There. I said it.
I have taken as much out of university as I have, and I've done pretty well: prospectively a good degree; people who I hope will develop to be lifetime friends, who understand me and respect me; a gorgeous, caring, funny, bubbly shit of a girlfriend in S; a large area of knowledge, both degree related and life related (big thanks to Chris, who I learnt so much from); a new hobby in ten-pin bowling; and memories. But Liverpool has had a lot out of me - money. I am just sick of living the lazy student lifestyle, and want a steady job for a few years before trying to climb the career ladder. I'd like to travel a bit and learn to drive. It was funny, S mentioned we should go away somewhere, and I was genuinely excited. Me? Afford a holiday? Never! But, with hard work over the summer, and living at home, I may, just may go somewhere.
So what to the immediate future? Well, as I've been feeling pretty shit recently, I've decided to throw myself into the waiting arms of my mother. Who will look after me for this weekend. S is also going home too. Hopefully a couple of days
Is this going to be one of my last university posts? Yeah, of course. Only got two or three months left. To be honest, I cannot wait.
A few other things:
- I've been laughing manically at this advert. I won't spoil it, but it's good.
- There has been some top quality football recently, with Chelsea and Liverpool producing exciting games. Wish the same could be said for Man U though.
- Last night I went out with everybody for a few beers to forget my troubles. Unfortunately I got so drunk that when I switched on the PC this morning, I saw that I had downloaded "One Step Closer" by S Club Juniors. And, as strange as it sounds, I am compelled to keep it on the PC.
Next week should be a little bit more interesting, as I am heading to Hull. Our team have got our costumes, we're going as Austin powers, with me as Dr. Evil. Should be a great weekend.
Birthday Haulage Part Two....
Amazing how some things work, isn't it?
Tripod did close my account without a single worthwhile reason, yes I still maintain that. However, my excellent brother bought this domain for my birthday! It's great having a family who know about this blog, (my 16 year old brother also managed to get his hands on some Jack Daniels too...which is disturbing).
So this is my new home for at least a year, hopefully you can all get off your arses and update your links. I'm planning on adding a lot more content to the site, and really take advantage (maybe get a tag-board and a contact form, that'd be cool).
Proper update of the weekend to follow, featuring the night out, and S meeting my mum.
Penbwlydd Hapus I Fi!!!
Today is my 21st Birthday, and I feel so old. Haven't had much yet (not suprising, as I've only seen 2 people today), but I'm sure that will change. Last night, me and
S went to a Tapas restaurant:
La Tasca. As never having it, I was confused to what to do, luckily S helped me out, and I didn't make too much of an arse of myself.
She also gave me the coolest present ever, a Homestar Runner T-Shirt! Easily the coolest present I've recieved in a long time (sorry mum, yours are cool too).
Arse of the day has to go to Tripod. They waited until today, of all pissing days, to announce they'll be closing my free account. Why - I don't know (they didn't tell me). Either way, the site will look a little off for the next day or so, when I can be arsed to get around and fixing it.
In other news: I apparently share my birthday with Lolo Ferrari, the (now dead) big boobed one from Eurotrash. Dunno why I find that so cool.
Dydd Dewi Sant Hapus!!!!
Happy St. David's Day everybody! May you all wear a daffodil, eat leek soup, pull a sheep, aid the cause to get the day off, make fun of the English (about - but not limited to - introducing chavs, rugby, hooliganism and not being able to stomach their alcohol), and spend all day in the pub.
In other news: my 21st birthday is in three short days, get me something nice....
