Thursday, June 29, 2006

Bloggers Block

Well, I have things to write, but the local has tempted me. Damn you foul temptress! With your....beer and stuff.

Anyway, so you know I'm not forsaking you, here's my blog of today, with a picture of yours truly when he was knee high to a grass skirt.

I must of been a beautiful baby, because baby, look at me now :)

Proper update tomorrow, Cubs Honour.

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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The Blogging Domestic Treble

Ah, the Premier League of Football. I know it's still the midst of the World Cup, and talking about returning to the "normal" is quite depressing, like when you're on your summer break when you're little, and see "Back 2 Skool" stuff in Woolworths. Nevertheless, it is the richest league in the world, with the most awesome trophy. Although I think I held it when I was five, I wasn't sure.

Now I am.

It completes a domestic treble for me, with the Carling Cup.....

....and the FA Cup....

...also been held. All within the last 3 years. I think that's fairly impressive.

Anyway, I was walking around Llandudno a few weeks ago and saw a poster advertising that the Premiership Trophy was in Llandudno Barclays (because they sponsor the premiership). I Immediately I noted the date, made sure I got it off work, and rang up a few mates to come down. Myself, Jay and Rick all had a look, myself and Jay held the cup, and we then went to play Time Crisis in the arcade. All in all, a good day.

The coolest thing about the three photos though? Definitely that they're in reverse chronological order (FA Cup was mid 2004, Carling Cup was early 2006, and Premiership was today). I know the picture quality isn't good, but by god I think I've lost weight over the 3 years. Seem a lot slighter today than in 2004. What do you guys think?

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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Beaten By A Chav

One of the responsibilities of my job is occassionally I have to help out with something on site with the customer. I kind of look at it as a perk - gets me out of the office. Today I went to Rhyl to do a bit of networking. Wasn't expecting to be there all day, but I was. Nevertheless, I had to get the train home.

Rhyl's a bit of a dump (or the centre is, to be fair. There are some nice places if you look hard enough) and the station is no different: a chav infested hell-hole with dead seagulls. As I was to spend over a half hour in there, I escaped to the shop to buy Nuts, plugged in my music, and hope their whining and constant happy hardcore remix of "From Paris To Berlin" would cease.

It didn't, and the fact that I was reading a magazine that they took exception to. These two girls walked over, sat besides yours truly, and did something chavs around the country never do: take the moral high ground.

"Here, you get pleasure looking at that?"

I thought I came back with a witty retort.

"I need to get pleasure out of that, I don't get it from looking at you."

I thought it was quite witty, why? She responded with typical chav insult.

"Yeah well, fuck off you ugly shit. Bet nobody finds you attractive you fucking ugly fucker."

Now, herein lies my main two weeknesses: my rambling and my lying. Normal people would give it a rest. I conjoured up a story that ended up getting me dug into a hole.

"I'm actually engaged to be married, so somebody finds me attractive"
"Oh yeah, well where's your ring?"
"Umm, it fell down a drain at a petrol station."
"Why were you at a petrol station."
"I was filling my car up with petrol, dickhead."
"Oh can you drive?"
"Yeah."
"And where do you live?"
"Colwyn Bay."
"So why you getting the train then?"
"...........shit"

It hurts. I've been outsmarted by a chav. I am so ashamed. I have a degree, the only "degrees" those chavettes have is the 90 degrees between their right and left leg every nights. And yet, my IQ of 135 was beaten by their combined IQ of 6. I'll never show my face in public.

To avoid such embarrassment again, I'd like to ask all men: how can we justify reading men's mags?

In other news: to all my readers in Australia - bad luck. This I think is the first year that the Aussies haven't been champions in a major sport in ages I think? Correct me if I'm wrong, but since the Ashes and the Webb Ellis Trophy are over here, and there's no chance of you winning the world cup, just what are you good at?

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Monday, June 26, 2006

World Cup Notes: The Second Round

Now it started: the business end of the World Cup. We're half way through the second round already and Germany, England, Portugal and Argentina have booked their places there. No real suprises yet, but here are my thoughts.

I hate to say it, but I missed both the games yesterday through one reason or the other, so if you're expecting a witty look at both the Germany vs. Sweden, or Argies vs. Mexico, you've come to the wrong place, sorry!

I did get to watch the England vs. Ecuador game, and - it was tense. I'm sorry, but ever since adopting England as my country for this world cup, I've been unable to enjoy their games. Although they didn't play well, they're through (though the second half was a lot better performance than the first). Also, David Beckham puking on camera has replace Michael Owen's injury as the sickest thing in this world cup. England live to fight another day.

Now. Holland vs. Portgual. What a joke of a match! Four players sent off, and 16 yellow cards were dished out, and Portgual won 1-0 thanks to Maniche's goal. But the real stories were the sendings off. Now, I thought that it was all a bit heated, and a bit harsh, and that the referee was very, very card happy. But coming online and reading some of the stuff, I see that many people think the opposite, that the players were fouling and the referee was right to book and send off all those players. As I said I'm not so sure. Nevertheless, Portugal are through and with two players suspended (and a possibility of a third if FIFA decide to suspend Figo, which Tom said can't happen, but BBC can), England surely, if they produce a 2nd half performance over 90 minutes and Portugal played as averagely as they did against Holland (with their awsomely named centre foreward: Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink), must be eyeing a Semi-Final spot.

Finally, there has been the greatest comeback since Jesus Christ rose from the dead in the old Fantasy Football league. Last week I was in 14th. Today I sit in joint 6th spot. It would be higher if that idiot Deco didn't get sent off. Dawn has taken over the lead at the top, and currently Tom is still winning the "Best Friend" League, though I've overtaken him now. I will be top on July 9th though.

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Sunday, June 25, 2006

End of an Era

God, it's such a shitty corny title, but yes. Now. Officially. I've left Liverpool.

For good.

It did make me shed a little tear in my room, which it was for the last two years. A proper house of trouser too for the most part of it. There are stories to tell, and dates which will be forever remembered of the 4 residents 131 Albert Edward Road, and hangers on. I'm allowed to say that address, as I don't live there anymore, so nobody can stalk me.

I've so many memories from the house, which I'll share with you now. I'll explain as many as possible, but some I'll leave be, as they're not that interesting.....you just had to be there.

Landing Cricket. A derivative of cricket played with a tennis ball, clothes horse and a piece of guttering. You need a landing also. We got bollocked for this one.

The time I bought a Sega Saturn with Athlete Kings. We spent far too much time playing that game. Some housemates more than others.

The day we had the new leather sofas, and made a den.

The Kiddies Party

The bookcase of doom.

Stairs Golf. Which involved chipping a golf ball as high as possible up our stairs, and getting it to stay there.

Wall Darts. Kind of a bit like "pin the tail on the donkey", but more destructive.

Mayogate.

Silly bugger Saturday

But the one day that sticks forever in my mind? December 7th, 2004. Lying on Guy's, watching TV with Guy and Paul (in a totally straight way).

Paul: So where were you last night?
Rhys: Oh, some places.
Paul (Smiling now): You didn't.
Rhys: I did.
Paul: You didn't.
Rhys: I did.
Paul: Did you?
Rhys: Yeah.
Paul: Ah. Nice one!

If you have to ask, you wouldn't understand.

I think there the things that stick out most in my mind. Anybody think of anything else? (Know that's more mates than anybody else)

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Thursday, June 22, 2006

Entropia Universe - The Silent Addiction

As well as spending ages on Myspace this week, I have also done something I said I'd never do, and got addicted to a MMORPG (which - for the unitiated - stands for Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game). The game in question is Entropia Universe.

I got onto it from a work colleague. A conversation began which revolved around online games (a conversation that comes up quite a lot in work, I'm sure you'll understand), now - previously - the only online games I played were Poker, Counter Strike/TFC and an old web browser game called Planetarion, which myself, Sibley and countless others got addicted to in sixth form and got bollocked for countless times for playing it in school*.

Anyway, he said he played Entropia Universe - and did a blooming good job selling it, so for the next 3 days or so, I downloaded it. Half way through a wet wednesday, I finished the download. And I jumped in.

Resisting the temptation to create a female character with an overly expanded chest, I instead created a ginger semi mulleted bad-ass you see to your right by the same of Synn Luna Whyre, which - if you're on the ball - is an anagram of my full name. Clever eh?

What wasn't so clever was the fact that I jumped in and spent the next hour and a half searching for stuff to do, and getting nowhere. I died. A lot. Largely due to the fact I was seduced into an area known as "Treasure Island", which is a pain to get out of, especially if you're new. Like I was.

Dejected, I left the universe for a while, and waited for my workmate to come online and show me around. Once he did, blooming heck did it get fun! I spent the next week or so 'sweating' monsters (extracting sweat from monsters, which can be sold for pittance). If you want to, you can skip doing all that and put money in the game to buy guns and ammo. I didn't, I'm cheap like that.

After a while, I became more integrated to the society I was in, so much so that I've started doing my own teleport runs (which are fun. In order to get new people started, a veteran guides a new player from one teleporter to another, so the new person doesn't have to) and organising hunts.

Anyway, the reason I'm telling you about this is two fold. First, does anybody else play it? They've got about 400,000 people - mainly Europe - playing it. I can't be that far fetched that one of my readers could play it. If you do, drop me an email or a comment and let me know.

If not, have I convinced you to play? Likewise if you want to start, just let me know, and I'll meet you in cyberspace.

That being said, I'm off to Liverpool for a few days, to finally move out of my house. I'll be gone until at least Saturday, and probably Sunday. This means that it's the longest I've been without t'internet for about 4 years. The saddest thing about the whole experience? I'll be my last Dominos for a long time.

* A small possible urban myth associated with it was that a kid's parents got almost into a fight with a fairly rotund teacher after said teacher (who was one of these boring sods who believed computers should be used for "business use only") called the pupil "A sad, antisocial bastard" for playing Planetarion.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

World Cup Late Group Stage Notes

Afternoon everybody, here are my thoughts on the last couple of days action in the World Cup.

• Last night's build up to the football was interesting, not least because of Trinidad & Tobago and Scotland. You see, in this world cup, many Scots have adopted Trinidad & Tobago as their team, largely due to three reasons: they play the English, they are the underdogs and - more speicifically - half the T & T team play in Scotland. Now, from speaking to a few Scots, they had genuinely adopted the Carribean Islands as their second home. Painful irony really, that in order to get through, they needed England to beat Sweden.
• Except they didn't. Sweden drew with England and England's bad form continues against Sweden, as they haven't beaten them since 1968. There were positives for England fromm that game: namely Joe Cole (who produced the best goal of the tournament that I have seen - still haven't seen that Argies goal), Steven Gerrard and a first-half Wayne Rooney. But their defence (namely Campbell) was appalling at set pieces. That has got to be rectified if 40 years of hurt are to be avenged.
• The other blow for England is that Michael Owen has been injured in the second most ugly looking injury in this world cup. The worst? Djbril Cisse in the build up for the World Cup. Best response was French paper's "L'Equipe" said he was 'Doubtful' for the cup. My opinion? Well, see for yourself and draw your own conclusions...
• After Shevchenko played awesomely last week, I caught up immensely in the Fantasy Football League. However, two stupid decisions (taking of the German Goal Machine Klose for bench-warmer Augustin Delgado and leaving Steven Gerrard off the pitch) meant that Shevvers hard work came to nowt. Ian is still leading, and Tom is occupying the position of my best friend (much as he hates it).

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

A/S/L?

One thing I didn't mention yesterday in my book review is actually how much the book affected my perceptions on things: it's nothing special, they generally do. Don't Eat This Book, for example, put me off McDonalds for a very long time (still to this day), and Millions of Women.... is having a similar effect, though not putting me off something.

Oh no, it's making me more open minded to meeting people off the internet. Before, this is the only place when I've been truly open, but - if you've ever spoken to me on Msn/Yahoo, I'm quite reserved even to you lot (unless when I'm pissed. Me and Jake had this period of about 2 weeks of randomly speaking to each other at 3 am. I was hammered, I wouldn't like to say whether he was). Now, I've been spending the last few days trawling through Myspace with Guy and adding anybody who does not look insane (though, Guy, for some reason, is having more luck than yours truly. Women are drawn to him, the fucking bastard). Though it's ultimately a bad idea, as I don't think Myspace is the best place to meet ladies, as it seems that about 50% of people who are on Myspace are addicted to it. Nevertheless, I'm having fun. Nice to feel semi-half-quarter popular.

So if you want to add me to your myspace profiles, its http://www.myspace.com/rhyswynne.

So why am I so scared meeting people off the internet? Well, I did once, and it was a horrible experience. Wasn't molested by a random guy, just wasn't too great.

It was a summer, many moons ago. I frequently used to haunt the Yahoo! Chat rooms, and I was in there one day when a BlondeBarmaid21 walked - or....ummm...logged - in. I got chatting, turned out she was from Rhyl, and worked as a barmaid. After a whirlwind chat session which - suprisingly - went really well. I was off work the next day and so was she, so she said I could make the short train hop over to Rhyl to meet her.

After she was late, I met her. Can't actually remember her name (which is bad), but she was certainly blonde. She was dressed in white Reebok pyjamas (no, I didn't know that Reebok did pyjamas - just imagine the adverts: "Gavin Henson when in bed with Charlotte Church and not bumming her wears Reebok Powersleep, for extra performance!"), beige shoes, and brought along her snotty 12 year old brother. I was hoping for either cinema or bowling. What I got was the Arcade 2p machine. She only brought along £3, which was shared between her and her brother. I find 2p machine's incredibly boring, so I took myself off to play Daytona I think. It was all well and good, until - like ezcema - her snotty nosed brother came over and demanded a go. As Blondebarmaid21 ran out of money, I put some in and gave him a race. Now, normal date etiquette is "let her win", but I've never been like that, plus it was her brother. I would of won, had snotty nosed brother kicked me in the shin to force a takeover.

We then went onto Rhyl beach, with snotty nosed brother throwing stones at the sea. Until he got bored, and started throwing stones at the dogs.

Now, you may be thinking "well what about the girl?". Truth be told, I was getting nowhere, and was happy staying there. She hardly said anything to me over the course of the afternoon, and she looked like an albino, caucasian Ronaldinho, but a little bit fatter too. I was holding on, but just barely. However, the next comment broke the camel's back.

"My brother, he's so funny, isn't he?"

I left.

But that was three years ago. Now it's not so bad. Think it's partly got something to do with myspace and blogging. It's wierd, but I almost consider some of my regular readers as friends.

Knowing the people that I know read this site, I'm sure you'll all praise meeting people off the internet. But has anybody got any real horror stories they want to share? Those who never met anybody off the internet: would you do it? Or have I just put you off?

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Monday, June 19, 2006

Millions of Women are Waiting To Meet Me....

I finally finished that book I started ages ago: Millions of Women Are Waiting To Meet You. It was my train book: a lighthearted read which I could read on train journeys, drop it at the end of the journey, and continue it a week later or so, and be able to retrace my steps through it (some books I read don't allow that: Jarhead, it's your general direction I'm looking at, though I've lost you in my room somewhere). A few of you have been asking what I thought of this book, so here goes.

First and foremost, the actual (real life) story behind it, is very amusing. The Author - as an assignment - is sent to research internet dating for a magazine article - 10 months later he reports back on his findings, which involves various women with varying levels of success. I don't want to go too much into the actual story, as this is only a very small part of the book, spread out throughout the course of it.

The main part of the book is an indepth look into the male psyche: what makes it tick and how we, as a gender, are all pretty much the same overall. Why porn is addictive, why we are obsessed with lesbians, what's it like to shag a celebrity, and why - as a gender - we cannot find certain people attractive based on certain kinks (I was reading this part of the book when I wrote the post about smoking, hence why it reminded me of it). This is splattered with stories from the authors past, which range from the depressing, to the very, very funny (I was on the train from Colwyn Bay to Liverpool when I read the line "Yes mum, I wanked my way into hospital". This takes third spot in the greatest sentances ever poll).

Not just all about how men are arseholes, women are too. He meets some idiots (the girl who took him on an amazing date then never contacted him again struck a chord with me), and meets some real gems of women. Here's one for regular reader (and best friend) Tom.

I really liked her profile because it was funny and oblique and she said she had a penchant for Flash Gordon the film, and she said she wanted to meet a guy who can match her "Brian Blessed obsession" and really wanted someone to say "Gordon's Alive" in crucial sexual moments

If the girl who inspired that passage is reading this, I will introduce you to Tom, who will not only shout "Gordon's Alive!" for you, but will probably shout "DIIIIIIVVVVEE" as he's going down on you too.

If you haven't watched Flash Gordon, you probably have no clue, so back to where I was.

I reccommend this book if you're not a serious reader. However, the last chapter lets it down, which breaks away from the usual amusing failure into something akin to a Mills & Boon novel. But I'm a bloke, if you like Pride & Prejudice you'd probably like the ending, as it's a bit sickly lovey duvey.

It's also very pornographic in places, so if you find anything more than - say - a man talking about his willy offensive, then you probably won't like it.

But, if you have a strong stomach, it's well worth reading. I enjoyed it, and it was only really the pixellated cover which first attracted me to this book.

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Sunday, June 18, 2006

World Cup Mid Group-Stage Notes: England's Performance

So as I mentioned yesterday, my level of World Cup watching has dwindled from "dangerous" to "mildly obsessive". I missed the Mexico vs. Angola match, but I don't think any of you care. My thoughts on the action which I have seen.

• England are through to the last 16. That's all that matters. Sure, it was not as easy a game as they thought it'd be, but they've 6 points after 2 games. After England's dismal performances in past group stages, they've managed to dominate this group (albeit not on the pitch). They've already scored more points than the group stages in 2002, and equalled the points they got in the group stages in 1998, and that was after 3 games. That's all that matters.
• I watched the England game in the Ship in Colwyn Bay, which is a very nice pub with awesome food and a quiz machine that must have idiots play it. I managed to get out of work half an hour early, and - I'll be honest - was dissappointed with the turnout at the game. Okay we are technically in Wales, but the amount of hoohah in the local press about business owners vs. unions was quite bad. Not the first time this happened: England vs. Switzerland in the Euros kicked off at 5pm, and - whilst a lot of people said that they were going to miss work - the pub was empty when I left it. I suppose the British Sickie is akin to the English football team: overhyped.
• Another reason that the amount of the world cup action I've seen has dwindled is due to my job, as it has prevented me from seeing much of the 2pm kick off games. I'm sure that there is a conspiracy fronted by FIFA and the unemployed of this world, that the games at 2pm are a lot stronger than the ones later in the day. According to Wikipedia's article, there have been 24 goals in the 7 2pm kick offs, 24 goals in the 9 5pm kick offs, and 13 goals in the 8 7pm kick offs. Plus, even in the low scoring games, I hear that they're the most exciting games. But so far, the three best games of the tournament (Argies vs. Serbia with that goal, Aussies vs. Japs and Spain vs. Ukraine) have been on at 2pm. It's a conspiracy, I tell you.
• Finally, the fantasy football league has been taking shape, with Ian pretty much dominating it at the moment, with token female lesbian Dawn in 2nd place and Tilesey in 3rd. Story of the tournament is Mike, who - despite not watching a game of football in his life - is taking 4th spot by a good margin. Questions are still not answered, such as: Can Vicky who's on a 1 week handicap catch up? Who will win out of Sibley, Guy and Tom, the winner being promoted to the position of "my best friend"? And how in god's name am I in shitty 14th?

Right, off to Maplin to buy some fun computer stuff. See you all soon!

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Saturday, June 17, 2006

A Whole New Look

Hey everybody! This is the reason for the sudden drop off in the amount of posts I was blogging. Hell, I was bored, and fancied a little change of scenery, and now I have it! Taken me two or so days to do it, and I was tearing my head out towards the end. Nevertheless, it's (nearly) there. Let me guide you through the new features.

• The comments: found a little perl hosted script called Reblogger which allows the ease of commenting that Haloscan gives you with the added bonus of having my own comments, so they are not deleted after two weeks. This is awesome, so test it out. Some people on blogger may wish to switch to this. If you do, I can have a number of accounts hosted on my site, so give me a shout if you want to.
• The top navigator. That will be changed soon so it's more in keeping with the rest of the site. I'm planning on adding a few more pages to the top, and I've removed the "podcasts" link, as Tom said: 'It can't be podcasts with only one post...'. Also the about pages etc. haven't been changed yet. They'll be changed tomorrow sometime, when I get time.

That, and the fact that my sexy face is on display in the top right hand corner are the only two real changes. What do you guys think? Like? Don't like? Any issues (tested it with Firefox and IE, and there have been no issues so far)? Seems to be fairly solid anyway. Drop a comment either way.

In other news: I've been speaking to a few people, apparently some of you missed my World Cup daily updates! Truth is my inscescent viewing in the first few games has dropped considerably since then, but I still catch the big games (i.e. England and Brazil, not the Angola vs. Mexico games). I'll put my thoughts up soon, to catch you up to speed. This post is just to let you know I have a new template, and want your opinions on it.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

World Cup Day 4 Notes - A Change In Allegiance

Before we begin on a recap of the fourth day of the world cup, may I just say thank you for the email response for the post yesterday. Now, not for all those people who thought "aww, poor Rhysie, I'm going to send him comforting words". Oh no, none of you have that idea, comforting in my hour of need. Around 20 of you sent pictures of nipples. Man nipples, woman nipples, some nipples that were blantantly not your own, and one poor female reader with hairy nipples, bless her. Due to the fact that I live with my parents, I'm kind of wary of oppening 20 or so emails with "NIPPLES!!" at the title. I've now set up a redirection service, should you really feel the undescribable (and quite worrying) urge to send me nipples on my nipple amnesty. The address is nipples [at] gospelrhys [dot] co [dot] uk. I may print them off and stick them in a book, or something (what else can you do with 20 pictures of nipples? Before you ask, Flickr doesn't allow nipples).

Right! Onto the main post, the World Cup, day four, and three big nations kick off, and my change in allegiance.

My change in allegiance came yesterday morning when I arrived into work, me and my boss had our amicable Monday morning catch up...

"We entered the inter-company sweepstake for the world cup, big prize as well."
"Excellent, who did we draw?"
"I think we've got a chance, England."

So therefore, my chart from last Thursday has gone completely tits up. England are now assuming the top position. It sucks, I know, but it is a lot of money if we win (we being the company, not England, who as a team I really don't want to win). You happy now?

Onto some more notes.

I listened (as I was in work) intently to the Convicts vs. Japanese match this afternoon, probably because so many readers are associated with one of those countries. As I said, I listened to it on Radio Five Live. The stereotypical BBC had - representing the Aussies - Dr. Karl Kennedy from Neighbours. I'm hoping they get Antoine from Eurotrash when the French play.

Later on, in what was dubbed "The Battle of Budweiser: The 'King of Beers' vs. The Beer of Kings, the Czechkovians (dubbed by Gordan Strachan) beat the US 3-0. This result makes me very happy, as I hate the US team. It all stems from the second year of university, when I tried and introduce an Armoured Wankball Lover to the sport. He reported on a Liverpool game, which was a 1-0 win, and Steven Gerrard scored a "12 Meter Spot Kick". Please.

Spoilsport of the day goes to Peter Crouch, who will stop doing the robot dance. Now, normally I wouldn't complain: I think it's stupid, and nobody is very good at it, but it gives the big guy some personality. It'd be like taking Orville away from Keith Harris. He apparently says that "He wants to be serious for the world cup". Crouchy, you'fre 6'7" tall, nobody can ever take you seriously!

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Monday, June 12, 2006

On The Market - Again

An update on the girl situation.

I did what everybody said I should do, just text her and see what happens. Well I did on Wednesday.....and I didn't get a response until late Thursday. She was going to town to meet a mate, and I was quite welcome to come along. I had already told Jason that I was meeting him for a drink, so we decided to meet her and her mate.

Now, when I met her, she was hunched over the quiz machine. Now, normally that wouldn't be a problem, but she seemed non-descript to see me, just a quick "hi, hows it going?". I'll be honest, I wasn't much better, though I think the six pints difference in the amount of alcohol we'd drunk upto that point was showing (with me being on a zero), it was at that point that the blind admiration for her began to wilter. You know how it is, you're in a relationship with some girl who's completely unsuitable, a mate - whilst pissed - points out her shortcomings, you fob him off? Well, yeah, that's what happened last week, and I saw her for - although a nice girl - completely unsuitable for yours truly.

So yeah, I'm back on the market again. I'm very impatient, and can't be dealing with things being dragged out. In the beginning that what i kinda wanted - being single, though the fact that I haven't seen any nipples for nearly 6 months is just beginning to bother me. Though at the moment, I'm kind of been put off women, at least for the next 30 odd days, anyway.

Now, as far as my daily updates on world cup action goes, I really wasn't hugely into yesterdays games, which were Holland vs. Serbia & Montenegro, Mexico vs. Iran and Portugal vs. Angola, plus I was hungover, so I couldn't really be bothered moving today. However, the World Cup link of the day goes to ascii-wm.net. This is really the first world cup that the games have been steamed over the internet, though these people have taken an interesting take, by putting it all in ascii.....

How fucking awesome is that? Okay, it looks a bit shit from the stills, but trust me, if you watch it, and sit far enough away, and squint your eyes, it's like you're there!

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Sunday, June 11, 2006

World Cup Day 2 Notes - England, Paraguay, Ivory Coast And Dogs

Welcome to another look back at Day 2 of the World Cup, featuring three games - England vs. Paraguay (which was dull), Sweden vs Trinidad & Tobago (which was dull) and the Argies vs. Ivory Coast (which was okay, though the shit ITV commentators absolutely bummed it). Here are my thoughts.

Firstly, whilst England won, they weren't impressive. That being said though, the referee was against you lot something rotten. Serioujsly, Marco Rodriguez was so anal it was unbelievable (enforcing the little known "6 Second Rule"). Obviously thought it was his time to shine, away from his stellar credentials as a matador. His hair was hell of a greasy too! Jeez, I'm surpised this morning that the Americans have said there were WMD's in his hair, the amount of Oil that was there.

Second point about the england game was the stadium. It was both the worlds most awesome and worlds worst stadium. Sure, it looked impressive, but the huge spider above the stadium really affected the colour balance on the TV feed! Sorry, geeky thing to point out, but it did! The other funny thing was one of Paul Robinson's goal kicks struck the big screen, which is about 50ft in the air. I've got a pound on at 100-1 that somebody, before the end of the tournament, will get the ball stuck up there. If so, the crowd will have to employ the "rocks and big stick" method to get it down.

ITV, despite all their shit coverage, do provide an education on the World. For example, I had no idea people from the Ivory Coast are known as "Ivorians". You learn something new every day.

Poor sod of the day goes to Bonnie, who my mum evilly contaminated and took a picture of.

She then texted me, like a ransom note. Luckily later I manage to purify bonnie....

Though shaken up by the ordeal, you'll be pleased to know that she is okay.

In other news, regarding this post: My search for Thursday's Virgin Radio recording is proving fruitless. The only reason I asked to search for it was apparently, around half 10 Thursday morning, Russ Williams said something like "Thank you to Rhys, the website king from Colwyn Bay, who texted in to us, but you're wrong.". Now, I just wanted to make sure that it was "Rhys" that was said, because it wasn't myself who texted in. I was just curious, but I can't find the recording, so it'll trouble me until the day I die.

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Saturday, June 10, 2006

World Cup - First Day Notes

Well, it's been and gone, an awesome Germany vs. Costa Rica game and a rather dull Poland vs. Ecuador game. Here are my thoughts from the opening day's play.

Firstly, they have introduced Fifth Officials for this World Cup. Why? I mean, it's just taking the piss now. Referee makes the decisions, the linesmen assist the referee, the fourth official holds up the board for substitutions......what does the fifth official do? By the official definition, he sits in front of the TV, gives his view on proceedings, but can't be involved in any decisions. Christ, half the nation did similar today, except they were less sober.

Boo to the Germans for spoiling their home shirt. It used to be awesome, with the 3 stars on their shirt (1 for each World Cup Win) being a different colour on their German flag

Now they've changed it to boring old gold.

When the score was 4-2, I swear to god, I could of killed Johnathan "Robot Wars" Pearce if he said "ooh, it's like 1966, though this time, the Germans are winning 4-2". Go back to Sir Killalot, Pearce.

Speaking of shit commentators, ITV. Who's bright idea was it to put Gareth Southgate in the commentary box? He conveys about as much excitement as Belgium in there. Sure, he's on the money, but really, he's like having that know-it-all old bastard who is in your local, sat right there!

After the football was World Cuppa on ITV4. After taking 20 minutes to find it, I can say that it is shit. Basically, for the unaware, after the world cup action has ended usually comes programs which are football-light entertainment. Fantasy Footbal was awesome, this is shit. Just trying to be Soccer A.M., but less football, more pictures of Warren Barton's Penis.

Finally, ambiguity of the tournament so far goes to the "Official Search Engine of the 2006 World Cup" Yahoo!, who came up with this doozy on their website....

MAKE YOUR PISSING MIND UP! Did they mock the germans, or do a bit of "The Crouch"? I don't know, but they can't do both. English football hooligans can't do subtle satire with robot dancing.

Right, tomorrow is England's first game against Paraguay. You'd never would guess, not like it's been on the telly much, has it? Anyway, I'm spending tomorrow pissed. So expect a very drunken Rhys on Sunday.

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Friday, June 09, 2006

Take Back Every Beer I've Drunk, Every Woman I've Slept With, Every Penny I've Goddamned Earnt. The Next 31 Days Mean Everything.....

Today's the day! 5pm Proper Time it kicks off in earnest in Munich, and even the Americans are beginning to catch on. This morning, I had an email - from the Washington Bleeding Post no less - advertising their Fantasy Football Game. Somebody saw this blog and thought I'd be interested, and I was. However, it used such un-footballing words as "positive and negative averages" "team defense" and - at one point - "field goals". Boo Americans! That's why they don't deserve to win. We don't understand your armoured wank-ball, so we don't pay any interest, so don't pretend that you know football! You may be the fifth best team in the world, but that's on paper, and Wales could probably beat you.

Still, was nice of them. But Im sticking to our league, so should you. If you haven't joined, do so! It's full of awesome people like me, and less awesome people too. Plus the forum's getting quite a bit of action too!

In other news: anybody know where I can get a copy of old Virgin Radio shows? I am particularly interested in Russ Williams' show yesterday. I'll explain why if I get it, but I've tried the website, and nothing. Any ideas?

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Thursday, June 08, 2006

Gutted

John Tenta 1953-2006

I am proper gutted at this, when I was around 9-10, I used to watch a lot of wrestling (still do today), and Earthquake was by and large my favourite. I was never one to succumb to the popular vote of Hulk Hogan or the Ultimate Warrior (despite all the kids at school calling me "gay" for liking "the fat man", they weren't laughing when Earthquake dicked on Hulk Hogan at Summerslam 1991), I liked the baddies, and Earthquake was my favourite. I just thought he seemed like he could kick your ass any day of the week. His finishing move - where he sat on the opponent - always made me laugh out loud. Especially when he did it to Jake "The Snake" Roberts' snake, I hated snakes.

Anyway, R.I.P. Earthquake, may you sit on all the dead wrestlers up in the ring in heaven.

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The GATR Guide To The World Cup

Ah, it's finally here. After 4 years of waiting, the world cup is here again, ready for Brazil to dominate, England to complain, and Italians to complain even more. Now, as a Welshman, there really isn't a team I want to win the world cup, just a lot of teams that I don't. As such, like Tilesey a few days ago, here's my guide to supporting the gratest showcase on Earth, as a list of which teams to support and not to support.

This was going to be in a pyramid form, but I couldn't be arsed. Also, some of you will say "oh ho! Rhys! You're so going to put England at the bottom!". You'd be wrong! As ball-achingly unbelievable as it might seem, there are teams I hate more than England. So, on with ze list!

1. Trinidad & Tobago: I'd love it if they win, just because Wales and Scotland have adopted them, and you can't get a T&T shirt anywhere because people are buying them (so much so in Scotland, because their forward's called "Jason Scotland", hence people north of the border buying them in droves. Fear not, as you can now buy the car flag (link curteosy of Rhys). Also, if they win, Wales beat them in a pre-tournament friendly, so therefore we'd be World Champions.
2. Brazil: Literally awesome. So it makes you a glory supporter? Just go to England fans in the street "0 World Wars and 6 World Cups".
3. The Dutch: Come on, they deserve to win it now. Even though they have Robben and Van Nistlerooy, two of the most hated men in Liverpool, they've been so near, so many times.
4. The Aussies: If their game against the Dutch was anything to go by, they don't give a shit. They just want to go there, and win, and they don't care who they go through. Plus they would rub it in England's noses.
5. Every other team mentioned in this list
6. England. Yes, you must be suprised it's so high.
7. United States. One reason, Fark.com. Every thread has been turned into a bashing against the beautiful game. Instead of calling it football like the rest of the world, they call it "soccer". And call Armoured Wank-Ball "Football". We've all heard the arguements, they don't deserve to win.
8. France: Because they're French
9. Germany: Because they're Germans
10. Italy: Because they're whiny cheating bastards.

Tomorrow, it all kicks off, with Germany vs. Costa Rica. From above, let's all cheer for Costa Rica!

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Wednesday, June 07, 2006

So Yeah, what DID actually happen last Sunday????

Well, I'll tell you. Also I'll explain the delay.

At around half 1, I toddled off to the Bay to meet her. She was on time, and we decided - against Guy's advice - to play pool in the Toad Hall. Guy was right, after dominating the first game, I lost 3-1 overall. But meh, I let her win*. We then worked our way along the promenade going to random pubs. It came to around 5pm, in the Fynach, and I had to call it a day. My tea was in the oven.

Except I didn't want to. I was in fantastic company, and the actual "me leaving" took a whole 3 hours, and 2 more pubs. Eventually, at around 8ish, I finally managed to get a taxi. We said goodbye, kissed, and hope to meet up soon, which should of been yesterday.

Now, the reason for the delay of posting is that since that fabulous sunday, I've heard very little, close to nothing. I half expected to never hear from again until a text message last night explaining herself and apologising for not being able to make the quiz.

I believe her. I think it's me for getting so worked up. With both Sarah and Alyson, I think that I kinda rushed things along, and we spent a lot of time in each other's company to begin with (Sarah because she was a great friend, and we were anyway; Alyson because both me and her had nothing going on at the time, so it wasn't hard). She's taking it quite slow, and that's cool, just I'm not used to it.

I suppose I get worked up over nothing..I think she still wants to meet me. If not, c'est la vie - though I think I deserve it for being so uninterested late last week. I'm young, free and single. Got plenty of time to settle down. Least she doesn't hate me (got so scared that she foundthat post that is no longer talked aboout), which far too many people do at the moment.

Anyway, feeling bad speaking about it on my blog (I haven't told her about this place yet), so that's all I'm saying about her now. World cup hyping/England bashing will begin again tomorrow!!!

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Sunday, June 04, 2006

"Do you know what blogging is???"

You know said girl from this post?

After much persuasion, we met up this afternoon.

She's really, really nice.

She blogs, and hates the Daily Wail. That's all you need to know about her yet!

More tomorrow.

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Friday, June 02, 2006

Bad Taste in my Mouth

Christ! Through blogging, I get to know people I never would of met, but you don't really know them well. I never realised so many of you smoked! I had 11 comments from 9 people. With the exception of Vicky and Tom (who both occasionally smoke), that leaves 7 people who were all pretty much anti-smoking. You could honest to god double how many emails I recieved from people who responded "I smoke, I don't give a shit if you don't shag me". Both sides, and myself mis-interpreted the last post. So here's my go at explaining myself.

I was not having a go at smoking, I was making an observation of things that put you off people. For example, one of my mates will not date anybody under 5'8". Which I think is ridiculous. Sarah had a thing against virgins which I find understandable now, but I thoughjt was strange then. Now, it may seem strange that you aren't going to date somebody because they smoke, because they are 5'10", because they're a virgin, but to me and these people, we do put limits on ourselves. I wanted to know why, plus any major turnoffs that people have.

So, now that I've explained myself. I apologise to all the people that were offended by my and some of those other people comments.

Onto today's post, and no apologise will be issued for all that I say below.

The England football team. Recently they've been hitting the headlines for all the right reasons, and playing bloody good football. I still can't stand them, with their "We can win" attitude, the balding beer bellied fans and - the worse song ever penned - Vindaloo. But the worst thing, by far, are those bloody car flags.

As much as I don't like looking at them in England, I can understand, but they've started showing up this side of Offa's Dyke. Now again, I understand why - a lot of English people do live here. But they're just tacky horrible things. My mum has so far resisted them.

Until now.

On eBay there's a company that will modify your flag for you. Say you want a crest of your favourite football team on your flag, they can print it. Mum I thought would go for the Liverpool crest, being a fan. But oh no, she got one of her other great love of her life.

HOW SHIT IS THAT?!?!? Got to be the tackiest piece of merchandise for this year's world cup. It's a car flag, it's English, and it's got Comic Sans on it! And they're selling like hot cakes on eBay! I just don't understand it.

The question needs to be asked: Is it only the English who put crap like this on their cars? Australia, do you have these flags? Do you drive around Paris with the Tricolore blaring out? If so, where can I get a Trinidad & Tobagan one?

In other news: in 7 days the world cup kicks off! Woo! There's still time to join the GATR Fantasy Football League. We're upto 15. I will kick your arses though.

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